


Just to Get High

by MilayaMilenZeal, Night_the_Dragon



Series: Here's Your Nickel Back [1]
Category: Subarashiki Kono Sekai | The World Ends With You
Genre: Angst, Drug Addiction, Drugs, Guardian Angels, M/M, Mental Instability, Post-Game(s), Prissy Higher-ups, Prostitution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 17:57:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9453209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MilayaMilenZeal/pseuds/MilayaMilenZeal, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Night_the_Dragon/pseuds/Night_the_Dragon
Summary: It's been 10 years since the Long Game, and Joshua has not been in contact with anyone from then ever since. He hasn't seen his Proxy or his friends since the Game had finished and they had all been reunited in the RG. Truth be told, he wasn't even expecting to run into Neku ever again. Unfortunately, he soon finds that life likes to throw curveballs at its players about as much as he himself does, and when he once again runs into Neku, it isn't at all what he had imagined it to be...The only thing he'd gotten right was the screaming and name-calling thrown at him..."But I can still remember what his face looks like when I found him in an alley in the middle of the night"





	

**Author's Note:**

> Quick note; this is NOT a perfect interpretation of any form of addiction. Every person reacts differently to stimulus brought on by drugs or alcohol. This is simply one way that some addicts react, and even then, the severity will vary depending on the individual.

_But I can still remember what his face looked like_

_When I found him in an alley in the middle of the night_

_Tell me what you know! Tell me what you gone and done now!_

_Tell me what you know! Tell me what you gone and done now!_

_Gun would do the trick, get it over with_

_You’re better off_

_To take all you’ve got and burn it on the spot_

_Just to get high, (high)_

  * Nickelback, _Just To Get High_



 

It had been a quiet day, in which even the Game had barely provided anything new and/or interesting. There really hadn’t been much going on the past ten years since THAT Game, and Joshua found himself to be quite bored, to be honest. Sometimes he just wanted to hang out with a certain redhead, but he knew the Higher Ups (and Sanae) would have his head if he ever tried to interfere with Shibuya’s affairs again.

Still, if he were to, say “accidentally” run into him, surely that couldn’t be blamed on HIM, could it?

As that thought passed through his head, though, the heavens above him decided it was high time for nature’s annual shower, and within moments, he was soaked. Not that he could get sick, but it was still uncomfortable. He sighed, and then headed into a nearby alley to remain under a canopy that had some holes in it to wait out the storm. It wasn’t perfect, but it was better than nothing.

As he stood there waiting for the rain to pass, he took notice of what appeared to a person, huddled up against the wall. It was hard to distinguish anything; only that the person wore JOTM, and didn’t seem to be aware of the rain, or the new arrival in the alleyway.

“Hmm?” Joshua hummed curiously, but remained where he was so he wouldn’t get even more soaked. “Who’s there?”

The person didn’t respond; they merely remained sitting there, completely unmoving. Now concerned, the Composer reached out with his senses to try and determine who it was through their Music.

That turned out to be harder than he thought, however; the person’s Music was almost distorted, sounding more like a cacophony of noise rather than actual Music. However, at the same time, there was something… familiar about it.

Frowning, Joshua decided to ditch the cover of the canopy and instead approach this mystery person to see if he could figure out why the figure’s Music felt so familiar. And as he came closer, Joshua took almost immediate notice of the reddish-orange locks that poked out from under the figure’s hood, framing a slightly bony face.

Startled by the realization of who it was, Joshua gasped out, “N-Neku?!”

At the stuttered exclamation, the figure finally moved, head raising slightly until a single, clouded blue eye looked up from under the hood.

“Neku, what are you doing out here? It’s pouring and cold out!” the silverette asked him, concerned.

“……” The redhead didn’t say anything. He merely sat there silently, simply watching the Composer for a moment, before he let his head rest on his knees quietly, wrapping his arms firmly around his knees

“Neku…? What’s wrong?” Joshua frowned, becoming more worried about the redhead’s lack of response. He hadn’t been all that responsive before, but he’d hoped that, after the Game, he would at least say SOMETHING. Hell, he’d even be happy getting a punch to the face from the ex-Player.

“……”

Coming to a decision, Joshua got closer to Neku, and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, and then teleported them both to his room in WildKat to dry off and warm up. Neku didn’t even seem aware of this; remaining completely immobile in the Composer’s hold.

The silverette frowned, and then hurried to grab some towels to dry them both off with. Shivering slightly from the cold himself, Joshua turned up the thermostat a bit so the pair could warm up faster. As he returned to Neku’s side and began to dry him off, it became clear that the redhead was skinny. Now, he’d never been “buff”, but he certainly hadn’t been THIS skinny the last time Joshua had seen him. And that was highly worrisome…

“Neku…what happened to you…?” he mumbled absently as he rubbed the towel along the redhead’s arms.

Those words seemed to click, and Neku blinked slowly, before he raised his head slowly.

“…Jo…shu…a…?”

“I’m here,” the silverette soothed, smiling at his former Partner reassuringly.

“…why…?” the redhead mumbled softly.

“…Because I care, despite everything that happened,” Joshua answered after a moment of thought.

For a few long moments, Neku just stared quietly… until…

“…bullshit…” the redhead hissed, slapping Joshua’s hands away. “Don’t touch me…!”

“But, Neku, you were out in that downpour! You needed help, or else you would have died of hypothermia!” the Composer protested.

“Fuck off…!” was the redhead’s only response.

The silverette stubbornly reached out with the towel again, continuing to try and dry Neku off. However, this time, the redhead was not so cooperative.

“I said DON’T TOUCH ME!!” he nearly screeched as he vehemently struggled against Joshua’s hands and tried to scamper away from him, since they were still on the ground.

“Neku, stop! You’re going to freeze!” Joshua growled, still following.

“FUCK YOU!!” Neku screamed, and then, without warning, he bit down on Joshua’s arm as it came into reach of him.

“AH!” Joshua yelped in pain, jolting back a bit. Furrowing his brows together, he asked, “Neku…what happened to you? I’ve never seen you like this…”

However, Neku didn’t reply to that. Instead, he scrambled up and began an almost mad dash for the only door in the room, half stumbling half running.

“Neku, STOP!!” the Composer yelled, running after the redhead. He rammed his former Partner into the door, both preventing it from opening and stopping Neku in his tracks. “What’s going on with you?!” he demanded in a firm voice.

“G-get… OFF of me, you ASSHOLE!” Neku cried out, struggling to get out from under Joshua. Unfortunately, whereas once he might’ve been able to overpower Joshua in physical power, his body completely lacked the necessary strength to do so now.

“Not until you tell me what’s wrong!” Joshua growled.

“I ain’t telling you SHIT! Get off!!” was the immediate response, just before Neku slammed his heel down on Joshua’s foot.

The Composer yelped loudly in pain, but adjusted himself so that Neku couldn’t hurt him further from his current position. “I’m not giving in, Neku!” he snapped.

If Neku had heard him, he either didn’t show it, or he didn’t care. And given how much he continued to struggle against Joshua, it was likely the latter. However, as Neku threw his weight back to try, he didn’t seem to realize that a small plastic satchel fell out from under his pants leg.

When Joshua heard the sound of the plastic as it hit the floor, he frowned and looked down to see what it was. And when he saw the source, the Composer’s violet eyes widened in shock as he realized what he was seeing. “Neku… are those drugs?!” he demanded.

Those words seemed to finally register with Neku, as he briefly froze, before he went right back to fighting against the taller man’s grip. “None of your fuckin’ business! Lemme GO!!”

“No way! I’m not letting you go! Not when it’s obvious you’re not okay!” Joshua shouted, frustrated as he continued to keep Neku pinned against the door.

“Mind your own fuckin’ business!! I’m FINE!!” Neku screamed back at him, still trying in vain to get Joshua to release him.

Before the Composer could argue back, though, a familiar voice called from what sounded like halfway up the stairs. “Oy, J! What you doin’ up there already?! You got any idea what time it is?!”

“I don’t care, Sanae! I’m trying to help Neku!!” the silverette yelled at his Producer.

“Say wha…?” he could faintly hear the man get out, as it was mostly drowned out by Neku shouting: “I don’t need YOUR help, goddammit! FUCK OFF!!” right before he managed to twist his head around enough that he managed to bite down on Joshua’s hand.

“Gah!” the Composer exclaimed, this time pinning the redhead against the doors by strongly pressing his full weight against Neku. “Neku, quit it! You need help, period!”

“Nrgh!” Neku groaned as his face was shoved against the wood before he snarled dangerously. “Fuck you…!”

“Josh, what the HELL is going on in there?!” Sanae shouted from outside the door.

Becoming frustrated with the entire situation and needing to get Neku to stop attempting an escape, he quickly pulled back one hand, curled it into a fist, and then punched Neku as hard as he could, effectively knocking the redhead out. The Composer, his chest heaving as he breathed heavily, moved Neku aside, and then let Sanae inside.

“Sorry, Sanae, but I was struggling,” he panted.

“Struggling with wha–J! What did you do?!” Sanae demanded in alarm when he spotted the KO’ed redhead.

“First off, I saved him from freezing to death out in the rain, thank you very much,” Joshua huffed. “When he FINALLY realized it was me, he lost his mind, and during the struggle to keep him from escaping, I discovered he’s doing drugs.” The Composer held up the plastic bag of drugs to prove his point.

As soon as he finished the last part, Sanae’s eyes widened in alarm, before he took the bag from Joshua. “…ah shit,” he hissed.

“You’re telling me,” Joshua snorted, folding his arms. “He’s skinny as hell, and barely noticed me when I found him in an alley during the rain storm.”

“Crap… this is gonna be bad…” Sanae mumbled as he looked to Neku, rubbing the back of his neck. “Especially when he wakes up again…”

“I know… I don’t know what led him to this, but he obviously needs some kind of help,” the Composer sighed, feeling helpless.

“Problem is getting him to WANT the help…” the barista murmured.

“Regardless, I’ll still help, even if he doesn’t want it,” Joshua replied firmly.

Sanae sighed a bit dramatically, running a hand through his hair. “The brass isn’t going to like this… You know that, right?”

“Would you rather he kill himself from this?” the Composer snorted.

“Just sayin’, Boss,” Sanae said with a small chuckle before his expression turned serious. “Anyway, if he was out in the rain, get him warmed. Run him a bath or somethin’. Just… get him warm, a’ight?”

“Of course, Sanae,” the silverette nodded, and carefully picked Neku up. And while he had expected it, he was still a bit shocked to realize he was much lighter than expected, though considering he was practically skin and bones at this point, that wasn’t even so strange.

“Good. Meanwhile,” as Sanae said that, he raised the plastic satchel and hit it with his finger, “I’m gonna see if I can figure out what he’s on so we can plan ahead.”

With those parting words, Sanae left the room again.

Once the door had shut behind the barista, Joshua carried Neku to his bathroom, where he gently set the ex-Player on the floor while propping him up against the wall so that he could start a warm bath. As he ran the taps and tested the waters with the inside of his wrist, he sighed heavily, hoping Neku would accept his and Sanae’s help. Once the tub was full enough, Joshua carefully stripped the redhead down to his boxers and placed him in the tub.

As he was lowered into the water, however, Joshua couldn’t help but wince as he realized that Neku was even skinnier than he’d originally thought; in fact, he was so skinny that you could almost see his ribs sticking out against the skin. But that wasn’t the only (or worst) thing; his body was covered in various bruises of various stages (including one over his right eye, which had swollen shut) and old wounds that may or may not have been infected at one point.

Possibly the worst part, though, were the small pinprick scars along the inside of his elbow…

“Neku… What could have possibly driven you to this point?” Joshua mumbled, feeling incredibly sad for his former Proxy. “I hope this wasn’t because of me…”

“…”

 

When Neku wasn’t actually freezing himself to death any longer, Joshua carried him back to the bedroom, dressing him in some of his old sleepwear (which was much too big for him, given how skinny he was now) and tucked him in. Thankfully, he hadn’t woken up yet, but Joshua knew the peace could only last so long.

Once he was sure Neku was comfortable, Joshua left the room, locking the door as an afterthought, and headed downstairs to meet with his Producer. Said man was sitting behind the counter, reading through a couple of leaflets, lost in thought.

“Sanae, did you figure out what Neku was using?” the Composer asked.

The barista looked up at that, before he sighed and sat up straight. “I think so… judging from what I read, the kid’s on coke. It’s not the worst out there… but that doesn’t make it any less bad.”

“Still shitty stuff,” Joshua agreed, sighing heavily. “I just don’t know what led him to this…”

“I’ll see if I can contact Phones’ friends later,” Sanae offered. “But until then… we need to start planning.”

“What can I do to help?”

“For now, we need to make sure we keep the crash damage to a minimum… The best way to deal with that is to stay close to him until–”

**_CRASH_ **

“What the fuck?!” Joshua yelped, and then ran upstairs to find out what was going on.

As soon as Joshua had managed to unlock the door, he had barely a moment to duck as one of the drawers of his nightstand flew for his head. The silverette gave a startled yip as he ducked, and then yelled: “Neku, STOP IT!!”

Upon the shout, Neku snapped his gaze toward Joshua, gasping for breath, still holding the other drawer in his arms. However, shortly after noticing him, his only usable eye narrowed and he abruptly threw the second drawer at him as well. “You ASSHOLE!!”

Joshua swiftly dodged the drawer and then tackled Neku against the wall. “Knock it off!”

“Argh!” Neku got out as his back hit the wall. “F-fuck…! Let go of me!!”

“Not until you calm the fuck down!” the Composer snapped.

“SCREW OFF!!” was the immediate response as Neku snapped his leg up.

Thankfully, Joshua saw it coming and shifted so he wouldn’t get kicked, and then firmly placed his feet over Neku’s, preventing any further kicks. “Will. You. STOP?!”

“FUCK YOU!!”

“I know you’ve been doing cocaine, Neku! Is this because you’re pissed at me, or because you want another high?!”

For a moment, Neku actually fell silent, but it was fairly short-lived. “None of your business, fucker!”

“I don’t care how mad you are with me, but I’m GOING to make sure you quit! This is going to kill you, can’t you see that?!” Joshua shouted in his face, though he kept himself far enough away that Neku wouldn’t be able to head-butt him, though.

“Oh just FUCK right off!! It’s none of your business how I choose to live my life!!”

“It is when I don’t want to find out you’re throwing your life away when I spared it 10 years ago!!” the Composer growled.

“Yeah, right! As if you gave ONE shit!! Just fuck off and get away from me!!”

“NEVER!! I cared then, and I STILL do!!”

“BULLSHIT!!” Neku screamed, but as the word came out, it choked halfway as he gasped for breath harshly. “Bull-fuckin’-horse-shit…!” he gasped out, gritting his teeth.

“Maybe you should calm down for a bit,” the silverette suggested lowly. “Before you hurt yourself further.”

“Fuck you…” Neku hissed out, as his entire frame shuddered. “Just… fuck you…”

“You wish,” the Composer snorted. “Just stop fighting this, and it’ll help.”

“Fuck off… I don’t…” Neku hissed out, as he slumped in the other man’s grasp.

Joshua caught him as he fell down the wall and gave a relieved sigh. ‘Finally… Must’ve worn himself out…’

“…hate you… asshole…”

“Of course you do,” the silverette retorted, rolling his violet eyes. “Just shut up, dear, and rest.”

“…can’t… hurts… I… I need…”

“If you ‘need’ another fix, you’re not getting it,” Joshua said with a dark frown. “What do you really need?”

The redhead didn’t answer; he merely gasped for breath, weakly punching Joshua to his chest. “…just… give it back… give me back… my stuff…”

“I’m gonna have to dump that shit down the drain where it belongs, I swear,” the Composer grumbled. “You’re not getting high anymore, Neku. I’m not letting you.”

“…you… _ass_ hole…” Neku snarled, trying again to punch him, but his punches were lacking any real force. “You… can’t just… I bought that… fair and square…”

“Then I’ll pay you back to make it up to you, dammit,” Joshua snapped. “But for now, you’re GOING to rest. You need to recover still, especially from nearly freezing to death in the rain, not to mention whatever drugs you’ve been on besides cocaine.”

“…asshole…” Neku choked out, but as Joshua looked carefully, he noticed that the redhead was actually holding back tears.

“…Neku? Why are you crying?” the Composer asked, his frown deepening.

“…fuck you…” Neku choked out, pulling his legs against his chest and wrapping his arms around them as he buried his face in his knees, muttering those same two words over and over again.

“I’m here for you, Neku, and I always will be, no matter what,” Joshua murmured, seating himself with Neku.

Neku didn’t reply to those words; he just remained where he was, curled up and gasping for breath as he mumbled quiet obscenities at the Composer. Before long, though, the curses quieted down, finally. And when they did, Joshua gave another relieved sigh, glad that Neku basically wore himself out to the point where he fell asleep.

“What am I going to do with you, Neku…?” he asked out loud, though he wasn’t expecting an answer.

Upon glancing around the room, Joshua soon found the source of the crash that had initially gotten him back upstairs; Neku had picked up the lamp on his nightstand and thrown it against the wall beside the doorway. The broken lamp now lay scattered in pieces to the side, making Joshua glad that Neku had missed the door, since he would’ve walked right over the shards otherwise.

Shaking his head in slight disbelief, Joshua carefully scooped Neku up and tucked him back into the bed. Deciding not to leave him alone this time, the silverette settled himself beside the redhead on the bed and stayed with Neku the rest of the night.

 

As the morning finally came, Joshua was startled awake by the crash of things hitting the floor in the bathroom, followed by a litany of hissed, but desperate sounding curses. Even without looking down to his side, Joshua already knew what that sound was.

“Dammit,” Joshua grumbled and climbed off the bed to find Neku in the bathroom. “What are you doing?” he asked.

The redhead in question barely looked up at the call, though he did seem to have heard him. Rather than respond, though, he continued to sort through the medicine cupboard, mumbling incoherently under his breath as he did.

“Neku, stop, there’s nothing for you in here,” Joshua told him firmly, grabbing the redhead’s shoulder.

Upon the sudden touch, Neku jumped with a startled cry and whirled around. However, he placed one of his feet wrong and it slipped out from under him.

The Composer was quick to catch Neku, grabbing his hand and pulling him close so he wouldn’t fall. “You okay?” he asked the redhead.

Once Neku had collected his breath again from the near fall, he immediately started pushing away. “…the fuck…?! Why’re you… what do you want?!”

“You were rummaging through the bathroom,” the silverette told him. “And when I accidentally startled you, you nearly fell flat on your ass.”

“Tha’s not what I–” Neku started to say, before a burp escaped his mouth, making him quickly cover his mouth with the back of his hand. “Ah fuck…” he groaned as his stomach seemed to roil audibly through his throat. “God… fuckin’…”

Realizing what was happening, Joshua acted quickly, helping Neku to the toilet and getting him to kneel in front of it. “If you’re going to get sick, let it out. If you try and hold it in, it’s only going to get worse,” the smaller male said pointedly.

“I… didn’t ask for… urk…!” Neku gasped and choked for a moment before he retched. However, despite the disgusting sound, all that really came out of him was water. “…urgh…”

“Just let it all out,” Joshua soothed, beginning to rub his former Proxy’s back.

Thankfully, it only took him two heaves to get everything out, after which he merely sat there, gasping and choking for breath, his forehead against the porcelain edge. And all the while, Joshua remained where he was, just gently rubbing Neku’s back. As his hand passed over the redhead’s shoulders, though, Joshua noticed something that had been hidden previously by the redhead’s hair; on the back of his neck was the image of a silver-scaled Chinese dragon that ran from one shoulder to the other.

“Neku, what’s this?” the Composer inquired softly, tracing his fingers along it lightly.

“None of your… urp!… business…” the Proxy grumbled as he held a hand to his head and stomach. “…fuuuuck…”

“We’ll get some actual food in you, something that won’t upset your stomach further,” Joshua murmured, returning to rubbing the redhead’s back.

“I dun wan any…” Neku mumbled. “Just… I just need a goddamn shot and I’ll be fine…”

“Nope, not gonna happen,” the silverette replied firmly. “You need to start getting some weight back on you, that’s what you need.”

“Screw off…” was the immediate response. “You don’t get to–”

“Actually, I _do_ get to choose what you need,” Joshua snorted. “After all, I saved your scrawny ass from freezing to death in the rain last night.”

That earned him a bit of an angry glare (as well as Neku could manage in his current state, anyway) before he snarled: “I didn’t ask for–”

“I know, you didn’t ask for my help,” Joshua grumbled, rolling his eyes. “But that goes to show that I do care, now doesn’t it?”

“…just… go fuck yourself or whatever…” Neku snarled, as he began to wearily stumble to his feet.

“Hee-hee, not gonna happen,” Joshua giggled, as he stood up along with his former Partner, pulling his phone out of his pocket in the process while holding Neku up by his arm. “I’m gonna see if Sanae can make something for you that won’t fuck your stomach up further.”

“…let go ‘f me…” Neku groaned out as he tried to get Joshua to let go.

“Would you rather fall?” the Composer retorted with a pointed look.

“I’ll be… fine…”

“Sure you will,” Joshua replied sarcastically and sent a quick text to Sanae asking for some food for Neku as he led him back to the bedroom. “Come on, back to bed with you.”

“I dun wan–”

“Neku, you _need_ to rest. I don’t know about you, but when I’ve gotten sick, I just want to rest,” the silverette told him firmly.

“I’m not SICK, you asshole…!” was the icy response.

“You just threw up, dammit! You’re already going into withdrawal from a lack of drugs,” Joshua growled.

“Just fuck off…!” the redhead got out in response, yanking his arm loose – and immediately stumbled to the floor with a pained grunt.

“Figured as much,” the Composer sighed, shaking his head. As he helped Neku to stand, he muttered: “So damn stubborn…”

“F-fuck…” Neku ground out, coughing into his hand, stumbling as he was led back to the bed.

As Joshua got the redhead settled into bed again, his phone chimed, and he pulled it out to see Sanae had texted him back, saying he would be up with something to eat soon. Neku groaned as he lay there, cradling his head before he tried to sit up again.

“Ah-ah-ah,” the silverette chided, and gently pushed Neku back down. “Stay down, Neku. You need rest. Sanae’s going to bring up some food for you.”

“I’m… not hungry…” Neku half-whined half-complained.

“Too bad, you need nourishment.”

“I just need–”

“No fucking drugs!” Joshua snapped, becoming fed up. “You don’t NEED drugs to live! Food, yes. Water, yes. Shelter, yes. But drugs? NO!!”

“Stop… telling me what to do…!”

“I’m not! I’m not your parents, Neku, so I’m not telling you what to do! But I _am_ telling you what you actually  need versus what you THINK you need!” Joshua growled.

As soon as Joshua said that, though, Neku tensed sharply. And that was all the warning Joshua got before Neku bolted upright and snapped his hands shut around Joshua’s neck. Instinctively, the Composer immediately wrapped his hands around Neku’s wrists, trying to loosen the iron grip the redhead had on his throat. “Neku… LET GO!!!” he gritted out.

However, Neku did no such thing and, in fact, only squeezed harder. “…your fault…” he suddenly hissed. “…this… this is all YOUR fault, you… ASSHOLE!!”

“Because of…the Game?” Joshua gasped, pulling on Neku’s wrists as hard as he could.

“…why…!? Why didn’t you…?!” the redhead choked out, not seeming to have heard Joshua’s question. “You could’ve… if you had just…! You… this is all YOUR FAULT!!”

“What…? What…are you…talking about?” the silverette demanded in between his gasped breaths for air.

If Neku was going to say anything, he didn’t get the chance to say it, as something struck him on the back of his neck and he fell forward against the Composer, unconscious. As the boy fell away, Joshua inhaled sharply, rubbing at his neck, before he looked to the source of Neku’s knockout.

“Thank god you showed up, Sanae,” he panted, still sucking in air.

Sanae nodded as he swiftly set the tray he’d been carrying on the nightstand before helping Joshua to get Neku back on the bed properly. “The hell happened this time?”

“Something I said must’ve triggered him into nearly strangling me…” Joshua muttered once he’d caught his breath. “He said this is all my fault, and kept asking me ‘why’…”

“Possibly something related to whatever got him in this mess?” Sanae offered.

“Probably… Speaking of which, did you get to find out from his friends what happened to lead him to this state yet?”

“Been tryin’… unfortunately, they’re not answering their phones,” Sanae said with a sigh. “Well… except for Beat, but he practically hung up the moment he picked up.”

“What? I wonder why they won’t answer…” Joshua frowned. “Maybe we could look into his home life before this happened? Like trying to find his parents…”

“I’ll try and see if I can find out anything. Meanwhile, you try to get ‘im to eat something once he wakes up, a’ight? Oh, and put some ice on that eye, too. Reduce the swelling and all that.”

“Sound’s good. I’ll do that,” the Composer nodded, heading to the kitchen downstairs to make an ice pack.

 

Roughly an hour after Sanae had left to look into Neku’s parents, said redhead was still unconscious, though his sleep seemed far from relaxed, even with the ice covering his swollen eye. Joshua was seated beside him, just holding the ice pack over the redhead’s eye, but he eventually began to stroke his fingers gently through those familiar spikes. “Neku, I’m sorry that you feel this is my fault… But I want to help you, no matter what. Even if you don’t want my help…” he murmured.

“…a…aaahh…”

“Hmm?” Joshua perked up upon hearing the soft groan from his former Partner and looked down at him. “Neku?”

“…h…hurts… please… need… I-I…”

“What do you need?” the silverette inquired gently.

Neku didn’t actually respond to those words; instead, he just mumbled something incoherently, before his eyelid twitched and then slowly opened.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” Joshua murmured, removing his hand from Neku’s hair.

At the call, Neku slowly looked over, his eye clouded and unfocused.

“Are you okay? Sanae had to knock you out pretty good earlier.”

“…” There was no real response from Neku, except for a slow blink. “…Jo…”

“I’m here, Neku,” Joshua soothed.

“…Jo…shu…a…” Neku slowly lifted a hand, reaching for the Composer. “…I… I need… please… I… I…”

“If you’re asking for drugs, Neku, you’re not getting any,” the silverette sighed, exasperated.

“…but it hurts…” Neku whined, as he dug his fingers into the sheets and rolled himself over so that he could push up better.

“I don’t care. It’s not good for you,” Joshua murmured, his voice firm.

“…I…” Neku choked out, trying to reach for Joshua, but his hand gave away under his own weight.

The Composer was quick to catch his former Proxy and then eased him back down on the bed. “Stop being so stubborn,” he scolded. However, Neku latched onto Joshua’s shoulders, so that when the taller man pulled back, he actually pulled Neku up with him.

“Neku, just lie down and–” Joshua started to say, but before he could finish, Neku moved in and covered Joshua’s mouth with his own, effectively shutting him up as he wound his arms around the Composer’s shoulders.

Although initially startled by the sudden kiss, Joshua’s eyelids slid closed as he soon began to kiss Neku back, holding the redhead close. His lips moved in time with Neku’s, making them both feel good. Neku moaned softly as he pulled himself off the bed and onto Joshua’s lap, positioning himself so that his ass was pushing against Joshua’s crotch. Once he was in a good position, he began to move his hips against Joshua’s.

This drew a pleasured groan from the silverette, and he slid his hands down to grasp at Neku’s ass, cupping a cheek in each hand. This motion made the redhead whimper softly, but after a moment of this, he flicked his tongue out at Joshua’s lower lip, curling his fingers in the fabric as he continued grinding his ass along Joshua’s clothed manhood.

Joshua parted his lips in response, allowing Neku to slide his tongue into his mouth. He ground his hips up against Neku’s ass a few times, but he soon found himself wanting more. Keeping the lip lock, Joshua slowly moved to press Neku’s back against the bed before unbuttoning his shirt. And Neku mewled softly as he moved to help Joshua get rid of his shirt, briefly lapping at Joshua’s lips and tongue with just the tip of his own, before he moved it across his palate.

The Composer shuddered as he a cold sensation ran down his spine from where Neku had licked, after which he moved back briefly. When he looked at Neku strangely, the redhead allowed a small, weary smirk, before he stuck out his tongue, revealing that he had a tongue piercing, and that the cold feeling from a moment ago, had been the metal of the stud moving along his palate. Upon realizing that, Joshua almost immediately moved back in, letting his own tongue play with Neku’s as he gripped his former Partner’s shoulders in response. Wanting to gain more control, however, Joshua rolled his hips smoothly against Neku’s.

Neku moaned loudly, moving back expertly against Joshua while clawing at the other man’s bare back, breaking the kiss only momentarily to take a breather before he moved right back in again. As Joshua pulled away briefly, his hands dipped under Neku’s shirt, swiftly pulling it over his former Proxy’s head. And the moment he’d tossed it aside, he immediately froze. He was instantly reminded of how weak and fragile Neku’s body physically was when he again saw how skinny the redhead was, and the faint needle scars in the creases of his elbows.

“Neku, we need to stop,” he breathed.

Neku blinked blearily, staring up at the Composer like a child who’d just been told for the first time that they’d done something bad. “…why…?”

“Because you’re too fragile at this point,” Joshua murmured, starting to sit up. Granted, he had a hard-on at the moment, but he could take care of that on his own later.

He couldn’t get far, though, since Neku swiftly grabbed his arms in both hands. “…but I… I don’t have… anything else to… to pay… so please… please…!” he begged pathetically.

When he spoke those words, Joshua almost felt his heart break. He couldn’t help but wonder and question what Neku had actually done just to get a shot. What had he _done_ to himself? “Neku, I can’t give you drugs, no matter what. I’m not going to be the reason you die again,” the silverette sighed.

Rather than that getting through to him, though, it only seemed to make Neku even more miserable than he already was. “…am… am I not… good enough…?”

“It’s not that, Neku, I promise,” Joshua swore. “I care about you, and if I give you drugs, then I’m not doing the right thing. When you’re no longer addicted, and you’re doing much better, we can have sex then, but only if you want.”

“…but it hurts…!” the redhead whined, reaching up higher. “Please… just… just one shot… please…! Just… just one…!”

“No, Neku. I care about you too much to give you any,” the Composer whispered, placing a hand on Neku’s cheek tenderly.

The gentle touch evoked a small whimper from Neku, as he reached to Joshua’s arm and gripped it tightly in both hands. “Please, Joshua…! I’ll… I’ll do anything…! I swear anything, just… just please… please…!”

“I know you will, but I don’t want to see you suffering in a vicious cycle…” Joshua sighed. “But I’ve said it already: I care too much about you to do that to you.” To emphasize his point, he pressed his lips softly to Neku’s forehead.

Neku tried to speak, possibly to beg again, but all that came out was a choked, painful sob as he whimpered, trembling.

“Ssshhh…” Joshua soothed, carefully pulling the redhead close and into a loving embrace. “I’m here, Neku, and I care about you so much, you have no idea.”

Neku couldn’t even say anything; he merely lay there in Joshua’s arms and sobbed like a baby, unable to do anything other than lay there.

 

It took about half an hour before Neku had managed to calm himself down, and when he seemed completely calm, Joshua helped get Neku’s shirt back on him and also buttoned his own up himself. Thankfully, his own ‘mood’ had also calmed down somewhat, which made it easier to focus on the task at hand. Such as trying to get the redhead to eat.

“Hey Neku, Sanae made some cheese onion soup for you,” the silverette told him once Neku was settled against the headboard. “Let’s get some in your stomach so you have something in there, okay?”

“…don’t want it…” was the solemn response, though Neku refused to even look at Joshua.

“You want to dry heave later? I can assure you, it’s not very fun.”

Neku didn’t say anything, nor did he look up.

Joshua heaved a sigh. “Neku, please eat some of the soup. It’s going to help you in the long run, I promise.”

“……”

Joshua huffed, and then grabbed the bowl before seating himself next to Neku on the bed. “All right, I’m going to feed you, since you’re obviously too busy pouting to feed yourself.”

“……” Neku only briefly glanced up, but other than that, he said nothing before looking back down to his lap.

Rolling his eyes once again, Joshua scooped up a spoonful of the soup and then held it up to Neku’s lips. “Eat.”

“……”

Of course, Neku refused, keeping his mouth shut pointedly.

“Neku…” Joshua growled, his tone almost threatening.

“……”

After several more failed attempts, Joshua had an idea. He took the spoonful of soup into his own mouth, and then leaned over to Neku, pressing his lips to the redhead’s. Said man let out a startled yelp in surprise, which, unfortunately for him, was what Joshua had been aiming for. As the situation dawned on him and the taste of cheese onion hit his tongue, though, he immediately began to struggle against the Composer.

However, Joshua kept his lips pressed to Neku’s, ensuring he swallowed the mouthful of soup before pulling away with a pleased smirk. “There. Not so bad now, isn’t it?”

Neku coughed sharply for a moment before he glared at Joshua. “Asshole…”

“Hey, don’t be mad at me. If you want more, you gotta eat it yourself,” the silverette shrugged.

“I already said I don’t want it,” Neku pointed out crossly.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. But I know you’re hungry. I felt your stomach grumble when I kissed you just now,” Joshua said with a smirk.

Neku tensed at those words, but he refused to look up as he snarled: “Like hell it did…”

“It did,” the silverette teased. “I felt it. It was saying, ‘I need food!’”

“Bullshit!” the redhead snapped… right before his stomach rumbled. “…nrgh!”

“Told you so~” Joshua replied smugly.

“S-shut up…!” Neku whined.

“Just eat already, and your stomach won’t growl for a while,” the Composer said, smiling almost fondly.

“I don’t wanna…”

“Apparently, your stomach does, though,” Joshua snickered.

Neku almost, ALMOST, pouted, but he chose instead to just cross his arms stubbornly and look away from the Composer.

Joshua chuckled and set the tray on Neku’s lap. “Stop being so stubborn. Trust me, starvation isn’t exactly a pleasant way to go.”

Neku, however, pushed the tray away almost immediately. This left Joshua quite frustrated, even if he tried not to show it. Neku was being particularly difficult, even though he was clearly starving. It left him wondering how he was to convince him to eat anything.

…and then an idea hit him.

“Hey, Neku,” the Composer said. “How about this? Ask me any questions you want, and I’ll answer them. And for every answer I give you, you take two spoons full of soup.”

That offer actually had Neku looking up in surprise, but then his expression turned suspicious as he regarded the Composer.

“…no dodging?”

“Nope.”

“…no lying?”

“Of course not, Neku,” Joshua assured his former Proxy.

“…promise?”

“I promise.”

“…” Neku bit his lip, eyes darting back and forth as he considered it. And finally… “…fine…”

“Good,” Joshua smiled. “Now ask away~”

The redhead considered where to start, before he finally spoke up. “…why didn’t you do it?”

It took a moment before Joshua finally realized what Neku was talking about.

“Because I decided to give Shibuya’s people another chance. You were the one to help spur that decision, actually,” the Composer answered with ease. He then placed the tray back in Neku’s lap with a pointed look at the redhead.

Neku looked down at the bowl for a moment with a dirty look, almost as if he was about to go back on their agreement, but after a moment more, he reached over and took the spoon in hand. After a moment more of just regarding the yellowish liquid, Neku took a deep breath and then exhaled, before he slipped it in his mouth quietly. And Joshua watched him patiently, waiting for the redhead to swallow and take another bite.

That first spoonful seemed to take Neku a lot of effort to swallow, but thankfully, the second was a little easier. If only marginally.

“…” Once he’d swallowed, he looked to Joshua quietly.

“Go ahead,” he urged, smiling softly.

“…why didn’t you show?”

“Because the Higher Ups have forbidden me to have any interaction with the RG after what I did during the Game,” the silverette sighed. “I would have shown up if not for that…”

“…you swear?”

“What can I do to show you I’m telling the truth?”

“…” Neku didn’t reply to those words, obviously unsure himself how Joshua could prove that he was telling the truth.

“Now that’s four spoons full you need to eat,” the Composer smirked cheekily.

“Wha…? Hey!”

“You asked me why I didn’t show, and I answered that. You then asked if I swore I would have, and I answered that, too,” Joshua pointed out.

“…jerk…” Neku grumbled.

“Hey, I’m just answering your questions,” the silverette defended himself.

Neku didn’t bother to reply to that, and instead, began to scoop up some more soup. Again, Joshua watched him, glad that his former Partner was finally eating.

As Neku finished the fourth spoonful, he breathed out softly. “…why’s WildKat been closed?”

“It has?” The silverette frowned, puzzled. WildKat had definitely _not_ been closed. Sure, there were few customers, but that wasn’t anything new, really. But at the same time, he doubted Neku would just make that up. “I swear, Neku, that’s not my doing. I had no idea…”

“…since the Game…” Neku mumbled softly

“Really now? I didn’t know that…” Joshua murmured, furrowing his brows in confusion.

“…” Neku said nothing more on the matter, and instead took two spoons full of soup.

“Sorry I couldn’t give you a direct answer to that last question, Neku,” Joshua apologized, turning his violet gaze to the redhead’s sapphire one.

Neku didn’t look up, though, and instead swirled the spoon around in the soup, thinking. Joshua sighed at the lack of response, but instead of saying anything more, he waited for Neku to ask his next question.

However, when it came, it was the last question Joshua had been expecting out of Neku.

“…how many you had?”

“Hmm? What do you mean?” Joshua asked.

“…bed partners.”

“Oh…” the Composer muttered, blushing faintly as he realized what Neku was asking. That one was certainly unexpected. “To be completely honest, none. You’re the closest I’ve gotten to that point, Neku.”

“…pft…”

The noise startled him somewhat, but Joshua went with it without a hitch. “Hey, when you’re the Composer, kinda hard to actually get someone that wants you for you, not just your power,” the silverette huffed with a playful glare at Neku.

“…sure… whatever you say, Josh…” Neku said softly, hiding what appeared to be a chuckle in another spoonful of soup.

The Composer huffed, but then smirked. “At least I finally got you to laugh a bit.”

The redhead didn’t even bother to respond, taking his second spoonful quietly.

“All right, what’s your next question?”

“…why didn’t you answer my letters?”

That startled Joshua. He wasn’t aware that Neku had been trying to actually reach him, going as far as to write him letters in a world where phones and email were the way to communicate with anyone. Then again, now that he thought of it, he’d never actually given Neku his number. Ever.

“The Higher Ups must have hidden them, otherwise, I absolutely would have replied,” the silverette sighed. He hated pinning the things on the brass above, but it was all he could think of. They _had_ been pretty adamant about the cutting off of contact, after all.

“…uh-huh…”

“Neku, I’m telling you the truth. I never received any letters from you,” Joshua huffed, frustrated.

The redhead didn’t say anything in response as he lifted up the spoon again.

Narrowing his eyes slightly, Joshua frowned. “What’s the point of me answering your questions if you’re going to doubt me anyway?”

“……” Neku didn’t answer; he just sat there, staring at the soup as he stirred it with his spoon.

“Neku?”

“……”

“Please just answer me,” the silverette murmured. “I’d like to know what you’re thinking.”

But Neku refused to say a word and merely sat there, his eye focused trained on the bowl in front of him. The lack of response made the Composer sigh heavily, lowering his own gaze to his lap sadly.

“…are you making me go home…?”

“Huh?” Joshua uttered. Then it clicked in his head. “I’m not going to make you do anything, Neku. I just want you to be happy and healthy.”

“……” Neku didn’t respond to that answer, before silently scooping up some more soup.

The silverette remained quiet as well, and waited for Neku’s next question.

As he finished the second spoonful, though, Neku set the spoon down and pushed the tray away. “……”

“What’s wrong?” Joshua inquired softly.

“…I’ve had enough…”

“Okay. Thank you for eating some, though,” the silverette told Neku. “Do you feel a bit better now that you’ve eaten?”

“…” The redhead merely shrugged.

The Composer heaved a sigh, and then looked at his former Proxy. “Neku… I have a question for you. And please be honest.”

“…” Neku didn’t respond, but he did look over quietly.

“After I gave you the answers to your questions, do you still hate me? Even though I never wanted to drop all contact?” Joshua asked in a quiet voice.

“…I dun hate you…”

“You mean that?”

“…yeah…”

The silverette smiled slightly. “Thank you. I really mean that.” After a small pause, though, he asked: “Are we still at least friends, then?”

“…dunno… are we…?”

“I’d like to at least be friends… if not something more…” Joshua admitted, though the last part was more to himself than to Neku.

“…maybe…” the redhead murmured, before he laid himself down and rolled over, facing away from Joshua silently.

The Composer gave yet another sigh, this time silently, but otherwise didn’t move, remaining where he was on the bed. As Joshua sat there, his eye once again fell on the silver dragon along Neku’s shoulders. From his current angle, it actually almost looked like it was trying to protect the redhead somehow.

“So, I gotta ask, what’s the tattoo mean?” Joshua inquired, hoping he wouldn’t wake the redhead if he was sleeping.

“…hell if I know…” Neku mumbled softly. “…dun care either…”

“Well, I like it,” Joshua smiled slightly.

“…whatever…” Neku murmured.

The silverette rolled his eyes, but his smile remained just the same.

 

Sanae looked down at the note in his hand one more time, before he turned to regard the apartment complex he found himself at. It looked rundown, on the verge of collapse, even, and the sign to the side stated that it was set for demolition later that month after all the inhabitants had moved out. From the outside, the place looked abandoned already, and Sanae (again) began to wonder if the people at Neku’s college had given him the right address.

What also worried him, was that no one at said college had seemed to care that Neku was even missing. What was also shocking was that neither Beat nor Shiki was going to the same college. The barista had expected at least one of the two to join him in the same college.

Had something gone wrong…?

“…Well, one way to find out…” he murmured, as he headed in.

As he stepped into the hall, he looked at the remaining nametags next to the doorbells by the elevator. And after going through the list twice, though, he came to the exact same conclusion.

“…there’s no Sakuraba tag… looks like they already left… Great… there goes my only lead on _that_ …”

Sighing, Sanae made to leave…  but he paused halfway out the door.

Slowly, he turned around, but as he looked around the hall, he saw nothing.

“…Esh… must be getting paranoid…” he mumbled, before turning and heading out, unaware of a pair of hidden, emerald eyes watching him head out.

 

Almost an hour later, after Neku had finally fallen asleep again, the door to WildKat opened and closed audibly from downstairs, drawing Joshua’s attention. The Composer perked up, and then he silently climbed off the bed before heading downstairs to meet with his Producer.

“What did you find out, Sanae?” he asked.

The man sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Figured out where the kid… well, USED to live… place is set for demolition end of the month, and the rest of his family’s already moved out, it seems,” Sanae said with a sigh.

“God dammit,” Joshua hissed. “What are we going to do?”

“Not sure…” Sanae admitted. “Though I AM getting concerned… if the brass finds out about this…”

“Well, we can tell them what happened, and that he would have died had I not gotten him out of the rain,” Joshua sniffed. Sometimes, the Higher Ups could just kiss his ass, for all he cared.

“Here’s hoping they’ll listen to reason…” Sanae agreed. “Did you get the kid to eat something?”

“Yes, but I had to bribe him with a Q and A session,” Joshua shrugged. “What matters is that he finally ate something.”

“Heh… good. Kid needs way more meat on ‘im.”

“Exactly,” the silverette agreed. After a moment of thought, he said: “The Higher Ups have been messing with Neku and the others to prevent contact.”

“Beg pardon?”

“You heard me. Neku thought WildKat’s been closed this whole time, and he’s been sending me letters, but I haven’t received a single one.”

“…that’s odd…” Sanae frowned in question. “Why go to such lengths? I know they forbade contact, but why would they go that far?”

“I have no idea,” the silverette frowned darkly.

“Anyway, I guess he’s asleep?”

“Yeah, for now,” Joshua murmured. “I just don’t know what to do to help him further other than just being with him.”

“Right now, the important thing we need to figure out is what drove him to start using drugs,” Sanae pointed out. “I’m gonna try Phones’ friends again. You just stay with him and make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid.”

“Roger that,” Joshua chuckled. “I can manage that.”

“Right, so get up there and keep an eye on ‘im, then.”

“I’m going, I’m going,” the Composer replied, and returned to his room, where he reseated himself lightly on the bed again.

Neku hadn’t moved an inch from where he was sleeping, but again, his sleep was less than pleasant, as he breathed heavily and was half-curled up into himself. Joshua gazed at his former Partner sadly, wishing he could soothe Neku’s sleep, and help him further that way.

“…nrgh…” Neku groaned, curling up even further, wrapping his arms around his knees as he did.

That was when Joshua decided to wake him. “Neku,” he murmured, placing his hand on the redhead’s shoulder.

The sudden touch immediately had Neku bolting away… right over the edge of the bed. “Agh!”

“Gah!” Joshua yelped, startled by the sudden shout and motion. He quickly scrambled over to Neku, though, and helped him up. “You okay?”

“Ow ow ow…” Neku hissed, rubbing the back of his head and then his shoulder.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you!” Joshua apologized.

Neku didn’t respond to the words; instead, he sat there, hands cradling the back of his head as he breathed heavily. Joshua decided to try and help, so he reached over and gently rubbed the back of Neku’s shoulder that he landed on.

Once he seemed to have calmed down, Neku raised his head and looked around blearily.

“Are you okay? I didn’t mean to startle you…” the silverette asked quietly.

“…” Neku slowly turned to face Joshua, his eye dark and unfocused.

“Neku…?”

“…” Neku’s only response was a slow blink.

“Hey, talk to me,” the Composer urged softly. “Are you okay?”

Instead of replying, Neku looked down at his knees, curling his arms around them silently.

“Neku, it’s Joshua,” the silverette whispered. “What’s going on?” He placed a soothing hand on the redhead’s arm.

“…it hurts…”

“What does?”

“…just… it… it hurts… it hurts…”

“What hurts, Neku? I don’t want you to hurt,” Joshua murmured, gently wrapping his arms around the redhead comfortingly.

Neku reached up, then, clutching onto Joshua’s arms firmly. “I… I can’t… please… please… I… I need… I…”

That’s when it clicked in the Composer’s mind that Neku was craving drugs again. “No, Neku, you can’t. It will only make the pain worse.”

Neku shook his head desperately. “N-no… please… I can’t… can’t take this… please, Joshua…!”

“Neku, you know that no good can come of you having even the tiniest amount of cocaine,” Joshua sighed, hugging Neku close.

“…why…?” Neku whimpered pathetically as he tried to move away. “Why won’t you… help me…?”

“Neku, I promise you, this is the best way I can help you, by not letting you have any drugs,” the Composer swore, not letting go.

Neku couldn’t respond; he merely sobbed quietly.

 

A month passed them by fairly swiftly, but still with plenty of hurdles. During the first week, Sanae had to nail the window shut to prevent Neku from climbing out in an attempt to escape, and there had been several occasions where the ex-Player had turned extremely hostile when his cravings hit him. Other times he would be meek and subservient, prepared to do anything for a single shot.

Both Joshua and Sanae hated to see Neku this way, but they stuck by him regardless. And thankfully, he seemed to be gradually getting better. He was eating without being coerced into it, and he was getting a little bit of meat back. Sadly, his cravings made it difficult for him to hold in any real sustenance for long, but at least he was prepared to try again once his stomach had settled.

As Joshua headed into his bedroom, carrying a tray of food for Neku to hopefully eat now that he’d regained some more of his appetite. The redhead, however, was still asleep when he stepped into the room.

That didn’t last long, though, as the food’s smell wafted into the room. Neku groaned briefly, before he blinked his eye open, the other still covered with some bandages to hold the icepack in place. The swelling had lessened, but it was still far from healed, and Joshua blamed that on his weaker than usual body, thus requiring longer to heal injuries.

“Seems like someone’s hungry, huh?” Joshua teased lightly as he approached.

“…shuddap…” Neku mumbled as he sat up slowly.

“Already with the insults,” the silverette sighed dramatically.

Neku just looked at the Composer dryly, but he said no more.

“Come on, sit up a bit so you can eat,” Joshua said, setting the tray on the bed as he sat down with his former Proxy.

“Yeah, yeah…” the redhead mumbled as he sat back against the headboard.

“Here ya go,” the Composer smiled lightly, placing the tray on Neku’s lap.

The redhead merely hummed as he picked up a piece of toast and began eating in silence. And as he ate, Joshua leaned back against the headrest as well, folding his hands together behind his head as he let Neku eat in peace.

As Neku finished the piece of toast, he picked up the cup of coffee and blew the steam away before he took a sip from it, a pensive expression on his face.

“Whatcha thinking about?” Joshua finally piped up, noticing the expression.

“…nothing…” Neku mumbled, but there was a subtle tick in his left hand, which was enough for Joshua to know what was wrong.

“Neku…” he said warningly, because he recognized that tick by now.

“…I said it’s nothing…” the redhead said without looking up, as he curled both hands around his cup and downed the coffee quickly.

“Maybe I can distract you somehow?” Joshua suggested.

“…I’m fine…”

“No, you’re not. You’re getting cravings,” the Composer muttered.

“I’m fine already! I just need–”

“You don’t need any drugs, Neku!” Joshua snapped.

Neku glared at Joshua and growled: “I was going to say ‘refill’,” while holding his mug to the Composer.

“Oh… Sorry…” the silverette muttered apologetically, taking the mug and leaving to get the redhead a refill.

“…” Neku watched him go silently. However, as the door shut, Neku climbed out of bed and made his way to the bathroom, holding a hand to his head as he went.

 

Joshua was quick to return, this time with a nice, full mug of steaming hot coffee. “Hey Neku, I brought you some more coffee,” he called as he entered.

But as he looked around, he noticed quickly that the redhead wasn’t where he’d left him.

“Neku?” he said loudly, hoping his former Proxy would answer.

While there was no response, Joshua quickly picked up the sound of water running in the bathroom.

“Hmm?” he hummed curiously, and headed to the bathroom after setting the coffee on the nightstand.

As he looked inside, he quickly spotted Neku washing his hands, before he cupped some water and washed his face, taking care to not soak the bandage over his eye.

“Hey, I brought up some more coffee,” Joshua murmured, hoping not to startle Neku.

Neku looked over curiously, before nodding. “Right… thanks…” he mumbled.

“Look, I’m really sorry for assuming earlier…” the Composer sighed, rubbing the back of his head nervously.

“…whatever…” Neku mumbled, walking out quietly holding his head as he walked to the bed.

Joshua followed, seating himself back on the bed as well. As Neku sipped his coffee, though, he reached for his head again, groaning.

“What’s going on with your head? Is it hurting?” the silverette inquired softly.

“It’ll be fine…” Neku mumbled. “I got some aspirin… it’ll pass soon…”

“Headache?” Joshua guessed.

Neku just nodded softly, finishing his coffee and laying down again. “Nrgh…”

“Is there anything I can do to help?” the Composer questioned.

“…just… I just need to lay down a moment…” Neku murmured.

“All right… Will you be okay while I’m gone? I need to oversee a Game, but I’ll be back,” Joshua told Neku, concerned.

“…I’ll be fine…”

“Okay… Text me if you need anything or if anything comes up, okay?” the silverette said, getting up.

“…sure…”

Joshua nodded and then left the room before tuning into the UG. He hated having to leave Neku in this state, but he had little choice. Though to be fair, Neku had certainly been doing a lot better, so maybe it was going to be okay.

After shaking the matter off, the silverette left to go oversee this week’s Game.

_…Composer…_

“Hmm?” the silverette frowned, and then tuned in to what he was hearing.

_…Look all you want… you won’t see me…_

‘Who is this?!’ Joshua demanded, realizing the voice was in his head.

_…I am Gabriel… I am a Guardian Angel… and I must apologize that I failed on guarding my charge as I should have…_

Those words somewhat eased his mind, though they also caused some confusion. Guardian Angels were celestial beings that were assigned to watch over certain humans that showed great promise. They served as guidance points for their charges, but they were never seen, or even really heard. Often, the charges weren’t even aware they had any form of protection hovering over their shoulders. In fact, no one else (not even other Angels) was able to see them, either.

‘Hmm? You mean…Neku?’ the Composer asked. ‘What happened to lead him to this point?’

_…I do not know… my connection to him was severed… I was trapped in the house he inhabited until its destruction last night…_

‘Wait, how were you trapped there, if you’re his Guardian Angel? Shouldn’t you be able to follow him?’ Joshua frowned.

_…In normal circumstances, yes… but my connection was forcefully severed and I was bound to a single spot ever since… I am unsure what caused it, myself…_

‘You seem knowledgeable, Gabriel,’ Joshua told him. ‘You must know of the Higher Ups, yes?’

_…I do…_

‘Is it possible they may have forced the disconnection for some reason?’

_…The possibility certainly exists… though I see no reason for them to do so…_

‘Especially after what happened during the Games he took part in,’ Joshua hummed thoughtfully. ‘Is there any way to find out?’

_…for myself, no… I am unable to return to the Higher Ground without aid… but perhaps your Producer can seek them out and request my connection be reestablished… I cannot reconnect with him without the Higher Ups’ permission…_

‘Really now? Definitely odd… I just hope they don’t become angry that I took over his care when I wasn’t allowed contact with him in the first place…’ the Composer sighed. ‘But I’ll let him know, and see about having your connection reestablished. Thank you for contacting me, Gabriel.’

_…please, do not thank me yet… not until this is all over…_

‘Still, I’m glad you’re a good presence in his life, even if it’s been disconnected for a while. He needs and deserves that, especially after everything I put him through…’ Joshua mumbled in a guilty voice. As he walked, he pulled out his phone and texted Sanae so his Producer could meet with him later.

 

Only a few minutes after Joshua finished his first orders for the Game in the Room of Reckoning, Sanae walked into the room. “Yo, J. Somethin’ up?”

“Yeah, sort of. I was contacted on my way here by Neku’s Guardian Angel, Gabriel,” the Composer told him.

At that news, Sanae’s eyebrow went up curiously. “A Guardian Angel? Odd… they’re not supposed to contact people… least of all Composers…”

“He said his connection with Neku had been forcefully severed, and he needs you to go to the Higher Ups to ask them to reestablish the connection again,” Joshua continued. “But the weird part is that he doesn’t know who or what disconnected them in the first place.”

“…I see…” Sanae frowned in worry. “Normally, only the Higher Ups can sever the connection between a Guardian Angel and their charge… but whenever that happens, the Angels are informed if that’s the case…”

“What? Then maybe I was right…” Joshua frowned.

“Hm?”

“I had a feeling that the Higher Ups severed it for some reason, but Gabriel couldn’t fathom why.”

“For good reason; those connections are only severed if the charge is truly beyond saving…”

“What?! But…Neku’s doing better now!” the silverette protested. “Granted, he’s not completely better, but he’s starting to recover…”

“I know, J, I’m not saying that he isn’t,” Sanae assured. “However, that’s usually the ONLY reason the connection is severed. I can’t think of any other reason as to why they would.”

“Do you think you could find out?”

“I’m certainly gonna try. No promises, though… you know they don’t like us much, anymore…”

“Still, they should at LEAST give us a straight answer with that one…” Joshua grumbled, pouting a bit.

“Yeah… I’ll head off later tonight. See if I can get them to spill the beans on that one… For now, I’m heading back to keep an eye on Phones.”

“Good idea. Talk to you later, Sanae,” the Composer nodded, and the pair parted ways.

 

“…nrgh…” Neku groaned as he curled up into himself, before he slowly pushed up.

After climbing to his feet, Neku stumbled to the bathroom, still holding his head. He didn’t bother flicking on the light as he walked to the medicine cabinet, opening it and rummaging around.

“…where…?” he choked out, trying to find the aspirin, but as he found the package, he cursed softly as he realized it was empty. “Fuck…” he hissed as he tossed the packet onto the ground, gripping his head in pain. “Graaaahhh… f-fuck…” he hissed, as his body started trembling.

He collapsed to his knees and rubbed his shoulders, feeling the by now familiar agony beginning to rip through him.

“…ca…can’t… I can’t stay here… I… I…”

Stumbling, the redhead moved back to the bedroom. As he came there, he gathered his clothes and pulled them on in record time, given how weak he felt. Once he had secured his shoes as best as he could, since his fingers could barely grasp at the laces properly, he headed for the door and slowly walked out. The moment he was sure he was alone, he stumbled out and down the stairs. He almost fell on more than one occasion, but he managed to grab the railing just in time.

As he reached the bottom, he walked into the shop, looking around again. When he saw no one, he practically scampered toward the counter. Once there, he very nearly ripped the register’s drawer out of its place, and blindly grabbed a handful of bills, stuffing them in his pocket… at which point he paused.

Neku reached further inside and pulled out his phone. It had been recently recharged, with Joshua’s number on the first speed dial. The purple object rested almost heavily in his hand, and he regarded it for a moment, thinking, before the cravings hit him more firmly and he whined in pain. Without another thought, he put the phone on the counter and then ran for the rear exit.

Unlocking that took him a little longer, but the moment he undid the lock, he was out and running off as fast as his legs could carry him, away from WildKat and away from the safety he had known for the past month…

 

The Composer was looking over the reports from the Game’s first day, which had been, again, boring as sin, but when he heard his phone going off in his pocket, he dropped what he was doing and pulled it out, glad for the distraction. He only briefly glanced at the screen to see who it was before answering.

“Hey, Sanae. What’s up?” he asked.

“Josh, get back here RIGHT NOW!”

The urgency behind the words prompted Joshua to immediately teleport to WildKat. Once there, he looked at Sanae urgently. “What’s going on?!” he demanded.

Sanae was grumbling as he rubbed his temples, and gestured toward the ransacked cash register.

“Oh no…” Joshua breathed, realizing Neku had stolen the money and had likely left to get drugs. “God fucking DAMN IT!!!” he snarled, and then tried to tune into Neku’s familiar Music, hoping that he wasn’t too late.

Despite Neku’s Music still not being back to normal, it took Joshua only a few moments to locate the redhead’s Music, past Udagawa, almost at Shibuya’s borders and out of Joshua’s reach.

“NO!!” he yelled and then teleported to Neku’s location. “NEKU!!”

As Joshua looked around, he quickly spotted the redhead as he disappeared down one of the nearby alleyways. The silverette narrowed his eyes dangerously, and quickly followed his former Partner. As he rounded the corner, he finally caught up to Neku, who was leaning against a wall, gasping for breath with one hand grasping at his side.

“Neku!!” he shouted.

At the call, Neku groaned softly, before raising his head wearily.

“What the hell were you thinking?!” Joshua demanded, storming over to the redhead. “Are you TRYING to get yourself killed?!”

“…stay away from me…” Neku snarled softly.

“No! I’m not going to leave you to die on the streets, dammit! I already told you, I care too much for that!” the Composer snapped, grabbing Neku by his shoulders and turning him to face the silverette.

The moment he did, though, there was a sharp pain in his side.

“Agh!!” Joshua gasped out, his gaze snapping down to his side, where his attention immediately went to the knife that had just been buried in his flesh. With anyone else, this would’ve forced them to back up… but Joshua was not anyone else. Angry, he lifted his head and glared at Neku, before he quickly ripped the knife from his side, and then pinned Neku against the brick wall of the alley, the injury closing up swiftly to prevent further bleeding. “What the fuck?!”

Neku groaned when his head hit the bricks. When the stars had faded from his vision, he glared up at Joshua and began struggling. “Let go of me…!!”

“No! How many times do I have to tell you?! I CARE ABOUT YOU, NEKU!!” Joshua screamed.

Neku growled as he realized his hands were bound, before he suddenly snapped his legs up and coiled them around Joshua’s waist before he threw his weight forward into the Composer, forcing him to carry his full weight. The Composer adapted to the motion with ease, however, and supported Neku’s weight after adjusting his grip on his wrists. “Stop being so damn stubborn, Neku! I don’t want to lose you!”

Neku’s only response, though, was to slam his head against Joshua’s. Although stunned by the sudden collision, Joshua still managed to keep a tight grip on Neku.

“Dammit, Neku!! Can’t you see WHY I care so much about you?! It’s because I LOVE YOU!!!”

“…?!” Those words clearly startled Neku, and he stared at Joshua for a moment. But shortly after that, his face twisted into a glare. “…liar!!” Neku snarled, struggling even more fiercely than before. “Fuckin’ hell let me GO, you FUCKER!!”

“Neku, I can’t let you go!!” Joshua cried out, and then pressed his lips firmly against Neku’s, desperately trying to help him see the truth as he let his feelings for the redhead be felt in the kiss.

And Neku froze, unable to move an inch as Joshua pushed him back against the wall again to help support him. However, after a few moments, his eye snapped shut and his body began to tremble.

“I love you,” Joshua whispered against the redhead’s lips. “So much…”

“…s…stop…”

“…Neku…?” the silverette breathed. “What’s wrong?”

“…st… stop… j… just… stop… please…” Neku choked out, his trembling seeming to increase.

“Okay, I’ll stop,” Joshua murmured, feeling tears prick at his eyes at the sight of his former Proxy. “I’m so sorry, Neku…” He then held the redhead close, trying to soothe him.

The Proxy was breathing heavily, not moving to return the embrace, his eye squeezed shut and his hands curled into fists.

“Neku, I’m here for you, I promise, and I will ALWAYS love you,” Joshua whispered to his former Partner. “I will NEVER leave you…”

“…stop it… please stop…” Neku begged softly, and when Joshua looked, he saw that Neku was holding back tears.

“I won’t stop until you believe that I’m telling you the honest truth,” Joshua insisted softly, brushing his beginning tears away. The redhead whimpered, but he said no more, merely hanging limply in the Composer’s hold like a doll. “I’m taking you with me, where you belong,” Joshua murmured, holding Neku closer as he prepared to teleport them back to WildKat.

Neku said nothing in response; he merely sucked in a breath as he struggled not to cry.

 

Sanae Hanekoma cursed and grumbled under his breath as he speed-walked his way along the ridiculously intricate paths of the Higher Grounds. He’d never understood the need for such fancy flooring since coming to the RG; it all just seemed so unnecessary to him.

Nevertheless, he made his way along those paths and into the room where the Higher Ups were already waiting. This wasn’t going to be fun, he knew, especially with how they had come to both dislike him and Joshua, but he was just going to have to grit his teeth and bear with it… for Neku’s sake.

**_Sanae Hanekoma… Why are you here?_ **

‘Straight to business, as usual…’ Sanae took a breath in preparation, before he spoke up. “My apologies for dropping in unannounced… however, I’m afraid this matter could not wait.”

**_So says everyone who comes to us… What makes you believe we have time for your case?_ **

Sane ground his teeth together, remembering why he hated coming here for anything. “I’m not so foolish to believe that you’d make time just for me, but this matter still requires to be addressed.”

**_And what sort of matter is it you speak of, Sanae Hanekoma?_ **

‘Well… no turning back now…’ He took one final breath, before he spoke. “The matter involving Neku Sakuraba.”

Immediately, the room was buzzing with indistinguishable talk, and Sanae prepared himself for what was to come.

**_Why do you bring up the boy again? You know you are forbidden from all contact with him and his friends…_ **

“Well aware… but the situation’s a little more dire that you may think,” Sanae pointed out. “Had there been any other options for us, we wouldn’t have come into contact with him.”

**_…What are you talking about, Sanae Hanekoma?_ **

“Simple really; the Composer came across him in an alley in the middle of the night, out in the rain… high on drugs.” He let those words sink in for a moment, before asking: “Would you rather have had him turning a blind eye on his situation?”

There was no immediate response from the Higher Ups, so Sanae decided to continue pressing on.

“Were we really supposed to just leave him there? After everything he’s been through prior? You can call it our penance. To fix our mistakes.”

**_There is no need. If any protection is needed, it will be provided to him._ **

“By his Guardian Angel, huh?” Sanae questioned casually, before he turned serious. “I’d be more impressed if their connection wasn’t severed.”

Upon those words, silence befell the room. Not even the Higher Ups indistinguishable talk from before could be heard. He wasn’t sure what had made them fall silent; the fact that he knew Neku had been given a Guardian Angel, or the fact that he knew that the connection between him and the Angel had been broken by force. But either way, it mattered very little. What mattered was seeing that the link was restored, and he knew he couldn’t leave until it was.

Finally, though, the buzzing resumed, and he waited in silence as the Higher Ups spoke in hushed voices. Sanae only hoped they would decide on what to do soon… for Neku’s sake.

**_You do not intend to leave without a favorable answer… do you, Sanae Hanekoma?_ **

“Nope,” was Sanae’s immediate response. “The kid’s gone through enough; he doesn’t need any more trouble on his plate. I dunno _why_ the connection with Gabriel was severed, but given that he was not reinstated, I can only assume the reason for this was not your decision to begin with.”

The Higher Ups were buzzing quietly for a while longer, possibly considering what to do now…

But thankfully…

**_‘Twould be foolish to do nothing for him now… after he’s lived through all that he has…_ **

Sanae did his best to hide the relieved smile that threatened to come over his face, keeping his expression as neutral as possible.

**_He is not beyond saving… there is still hope. …Send the order for Gabriel’s restoration._ **

And Sanae breathed a little easier. He wasn’t expecting instant change with Neku, but every little bit helps in the end.

**_…Sanae Hanekoma._ **

“Yes, sir?”

**_…Do not make us regret this decision._ **

“Heh… I wouldn’t dream of it.”

 

As he returned to his room at WildKat, Joshua refused to let go of Neku, even as he crawled onto the bed, still holding the redhead close. He curled up with Neku in his lap and kissed his former Proxy’s forehead tenderly. Said Proxy had completely stopped struggling, and while he made no sound, he was still awake, staring out from under his half-shut eyelids and breathing heavily. The Composer continued to hold Neku, but this time said nothing, instead patiently waiting for the redhead to speak first

This, however, took almost an hour, before Neku finally spoke again.

“…why…?”

“Why what?” Joshua asked quietly, a soft, warm smile on his face.

“…why lie…?”

“Neku, I promise you, I’m not lying when I say that I love you. And when I said I’ll never leave you, I’m telling the truth, too,” the Composer murmured.

“…if you just… want my body… I don’t–”

“I don’t just want your body, Neku,” the silverette interrupted. “I want ALL of you.”

“…please just… just stop… please…”

“Why should I? I’m telling you the truth.”

“…just… stop…”

Joshua sighed heavily when he saw that Neku’s eyes were now completely shut, though his breath remained heavier than normal. “I’ll take care of you, I promise…”

_…Composer…_

“Hmm?” Joshua hummed, perking up. He relaxed when he realized who it was. ‘Gabriel. Are you connected to Neku again?’

_…not yet… once the connection has been restored, I will be unable to speak to you… and I required to say one thing before I lost the ability to do so…_

‘Oh? And what would that be?’

_…thank you… That is all…_

‘You’re welcome, Gabriel. I’m glad we could meet,’ Joshua smiled slightly.

_…as am I… Farewell…_

And then there was silence again. However, as Joshua sat there, he felt Neku’s tensed frame steadily relax against him as his labored breathing steadily evened out, and his once distorted Music began to calm. And while it was nowhere near what it once was after the Game’s end, it was a marked improvement over the cacophony of noise it had been since their reunion.

The Composer smiled softly, hoping that with Gabriel’s presence once more restored to him, Neku would be able to trust and love again.

 

Two hours passed him by silently. Sanae stopped by shortly after Gabriel was connected to Neku again, to check up on them and see how Neku was doing. Though he had been somewhat startled when Joshua revealed that the redhead had actually stabbed him, the barista quickly chalked it up to the redhead’s desperation to get a fix. Joshua wasn’t able to sleep a wink, as he sat against the headboard, holding onto the redhead’s limp form, still. He didn’t even bother changing out of his torn and bloody shirt.

Finally, though, Neku groaned sleepily and tried to sit up, but as he was still being held by Joshua, that didn’t work so well.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” Joshua murmured, allowing him to sit up. “How are you feeling?”

Neku blinked blearily and looked up slowly. “…Josh…?

“In the flesh,” the silverette chuckled.

“…wha… the FUCK!?” the redhead yelped, shoving himself up and away. “Why’re you clinging to me, you ass?!”

Joshua almost laughed at the shout. Almost. It was just too similar to how Neku had once reacted 10 years ago, during that second week whenever Joshua got on his nerves ( _again_ ). He held it in, though, because he wasn’t sure how long this would last; Neku had become extremely prone to mood swings, after all.

“I brought you back here after you stole money from Sanae’s register to buy drugs with,” the Composer snorted instead of that, rolling his eyes theatrically. “And when I stopped you from running, you stabbed me in the side. I only got you to stop struggling to get away when I confessed that I love you.” This made Joshua blush as he remembered that particular part.

Neku wasn’t doing any better, though the blush on his face was considerably lighter than Joshua’s, before something else registered in his head. “…wait… I… I stabbed you…?”

“In your attempt to flee, yes,” Joshua confirmed, pointing to his torn, bloody stain on his shirt.

“I-I…!”

“What’s wrong?” Joshua frowned. This wasn’t how he had been expecting Neku react, even with his mood swings held into account.

Neku tried to speak, his mouth opening and closing like that of a fish, but when nothing managed to come out, he just sat there, hands in his lap and staring down silently. And that was when Joshua realized what was likely wrong.

“Neku, it’s okay, I promise!” Joshua assured him. “I’m fine now, see?” He lifted his shirt, showing Neku there was no mark where he’d been stabbed.

“…but…”

“I’m the Composer, remember? It’s not that easy to kill me, Neku,” he soothed, placing his hand on Neku’s shoulder comfortingly.

“…” Neku looked up a little bit unsure, before he slowly nodded his head.

“I promise, it doesn’t even hurt anymore,” the Composer smiled lightly, hoping that this would calm Neku down. “What are you thinking about?”

“…” Neku rubbed at his arm silently, once again looking away from Joshua.

“Neku, you can tell me anything, you know that,” the silverette urged gently, placing his other hand on the former Proxy’s knee soothingly.

“…I’m… I…” Neku started slowly, biting his lip slightly. “…I’m s… sorry…”

“Neku…” Joshua started, giving the redhead a sympathetic look. “Don’t be sorry, okay? You obviously weren’t in your right mind.”

“…but I… I sh… I… I… oh god…” Neku choked, reaching up for his head as he began to gasp for breath. “Wha… what have I been DOING?!”

“Neku! Stop!” the Composer said sharply. “It’s a long story, but like I said, you haven’t been in your right mind!”

Neku shook his head almost violently as he curled his fingers in his hair, his gasps turning into half choked sobs.

“Neku, please, just LOOK at me,” Joshua ordered, placing his hands on both sides of Neku’s face.

The redhead raised his head at that, blinking rapidly as tears rolled down his cheek.

“You were not in your right mind, okay? It’s done now, and it won’t happen again,” the silverette told him firmly. “I’m here, and I’m going to help you through this. Do you understand?”

Neku blinked, twice, before he bit his lip sharply, almost drawing blood, as he reached out and grasped Joshua’s arms. “I… I’m so sorry… please… please, Joshua… he…help me…”

“I’m here, Neku, and I’ll help you through this, no matter what,” the Composer murmured, pulling his former Proxy close to him.

This made the redhead whimper briefly as he clutched onto Joshua tightly, trying desperately not to cry too much.

“Let it out, Neku, or it WILL get worse,” Joshua urged softly, just providing comfort to him.

Neku tried to hold back for a while longer, but in the end, he wasn’t able to do it and he began to sob, clinging to the Composer like a child clutching their teddy.

“I’m here, Neku, and I always will be because I love you,” Joshua whispered, rubbing circles along Neku’s back.

The redhead wasn’t able to respond, as he held on tight, sobbing and wailing. But amidst his sobbing, Joshua caught two words mixed in with the sobs;

“…thank you…”

“Anytime,” the Composer smiled softly.

 

Shortly after Neku had finally cried himself to sleep, which took about half an hour, there was a knock on the door. “Hey, Boss? Got a minute?”

“Sure, come in,” Joshua answered in a whisper.

Once Sanae had walked inside and quietly shut the door, he only briefly looked to Neku, before turning to the Composer.

“I managed to get hold of Beat.”

Immediately, the Composer perked up. “And? What did he say?”

Sanae sighed as he grabbed a chair and pulled it over. After giving one look to Neku to ensure he was asleep, he said: “Phones’ parents divorced two years after the Game… and his mom remarried barely a year after… And Beat says it started roughly around that point.”

“God damn it all to hell,” Joshua hissed. “Well, hopefully, he’ll be better off now. Gabriel reconnected with him, but he doesn’t seem to remember much from before that. He certainly didn’t remember stabbing me, which horrified him when I told him.”

“Possible… drugs can, on occasion, do some pretty bad damage to your brain…” Sanae murmured, not seeming too surprised at the news. “In any case… Beat said he’d be willing to drop by WildKat in the weekend to explain a bit more. You up for that?”

“Definitely. Did he say why the others wouldn’t answer?”

“Shiki broke her phone a few years back, so she had a new number, and Rhyme doesn’t actually carry hers with her that often…” Sanae said. “Plus, as you thought, the brass were blocking contact. Hence why he ‘hung up’ that first time.”

“Stupid bullshit,” the silverette huffed irritably. “Well, at least they don’t seem to be doing so now.”

“Nope. Anyway, you just rest up. You still have a Game to look after in the morning.”

“Fair enough,” Joshua sighed as Sanae headed out, looking down at Neku fondly.

 

After how the first day of running the Game had turned out, Joshua was somewhat unwilling to leave Neku alone again, but at the same time he knew that Neku would hate being down in the Room of Reckoning the whole day, and he didn’t want him to feel even more miserable if he could help it. So Sanae came up with the brilliant idea to have Neku help the barista in the café and to show him the ropes of the business. This was not only assured that Neku wasn’t alone during the day, but it also kept him busy and didn’t let him think about his addiction too much.

Of course, he would still get his cravings at times, but at least he wasn’t alone when it hit. And in the worst cases, Sanae made sure to call Joshua back.

Truthfully, it wasn’t entirely what Joshua wanted, but it worked, for now.

And then the weekend rolled around.

 

“…why do I have to stay here?” Neku asked.

“So that way no bad memories are brought up to possibly cause a relapse,” Joshua answered honestly. He wasn’t sure how bad the news Beat had was going to be, but if possible, he didn’t want to expose Neku to any of it. Going through it once was more than enough for him.

“But I–”

“I just don’t want to see you suffering, Neku…” the silverette sighed.

“…” Neku almost pouted, but in the end, he sighed. “…fine…”

“Thank you,” Joshua murmured, hugging Neku briefly.

Neku flinched initially at the sudden hug, still not entirely used to the show of comfort, before he relaxed and returned it.

“Now, stay up here. I’ll be back up in about an hour,” Joshua told his former Partner. “Text me if you need me, okay?”

“Fiiiine…” Neku grumbled softly.

“You’re so cute when you don’t get your way,” the silverette teased with a giggle.

“Sh-shuddap already! Jerk…”

The Composer merely giggled again and then left to go downstairs.

As Joshua came downstairs, Beat was just walking through the door of the café, looking around curiously. The blonde was still as bulky as he was before, if not more so, but instead of his usual skater outfit, he was wearing some easy summer clothes, which fit the current weather in Shibuya just fine.

“Hi Beat,” Joshua greeted.

“Whuh? Oh… hey,” the man said, a bit wary, still.

The Composer sighed. “I’m not going to do anything to you, you know.”

“Yeah… sorry. Just… kinda awkward… yanno?” Beat admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I guess I can kind of understand,” Joshua nodded. He then gestured for Beat to have a seat at the booth.

Beat nodded and followed the Composer toward the booth, taking a seat while looking around once more.

“So, can you tell me more about what happened with Neku to lead him to this point?” Joshua asked in a low voice, getting right to the point.

Beat sighed softly and ran a hand through his hair. “To be honest, I don’t know the exact specifics… all I know that it seemed to start after Phones’ mum remarried…”

“Still, whatever you know might help,” the silverette insisted.

Beat sighed softly, again running a hand through his hair. “Right… so, like I said, like two years after the Game… Phones’ parents split up. Not sure why, he never said. And then a year later his Mum remarried… and a few weeks after… well, Phones started… changing…”

“‘Changing’?” Joshua repeated, puzzled.

“Yeah… it was like… real minor at first. Started tiring out a bit sooner than normal… but none of us really thought it had anything to do with… yanno?” Beat sighed heavily as he rubbed his temples. “We just figured he was having a hard time with… well, yanno… the new environment at home.”

“Okay…” the Composer murmured, silently urging Beat to continue.

“Anyway, Shiki was trying to get him to talk about it, but he wasn’t too eager to say anything ‘bout it…” At this point, Beat paused briefly. “We still didn’t think much of it at the time… but… then Phones suddenly came up to me and asked if I could lend him some dough, promising to pay it back ASAP. …Never did pay me back, by the way…”

“How much did he ask for?” Joshua inquired, pulling out his wallet.

“Ah, forget it,” Beat mumbled, waving it off. “Was just my lunch money that day. Wasn’t hungry back then, anyway, so it’s fine.”

“If you’re sure,” Joshua shrugged, sticking his wallet back in his pocket. “But anyway, what else happened?”

“I personally wasn’t there when it happened, but Shiki said she actually caught Phones… well…” Beat paused as he rubbed the back of his head. “How the hell do you say that properly, anyway…? Just… ‘getting high’ or something?”

“You could say that, it works,” the Composer nodded. “I’m sorry that happened with Shiki, though…”

“Yeah… the results weren’t pretty… she was really pissed at ‘im then…” the blonde sighed out. “What’s worse, though… she was mad enough to tell ‘im not to contact her again until he cleaned up his act.” As he finished saying that, Beat groaned and held his head. “She said she regretted saying that almost right after she said it…”

“Not surprising…” a familiar voice said, making the pair look up as Sanae walked in with a box of supplies. “She try to patch things up, I assume?”

“Yeah… don’t think it worked much, though…”

“Again, not surprising. That kind of thing is hurtful, even if you didn’t intend to say it,” Joshua sighed.

“You’re tellin’ me…” Beat agreed. “Eri tried to help, too, but she had even less success…”

“Well, Eri wasn’t exactly as close to Neku as Shiki was,” the silverette pointed out.

“Yeah, but she’s the only one of us who knows a bit ‘bout addictions…” Beat admitted. “Sure, it was just smokin’, but it’s more than what we know…”

“Oh…” Joshua muttered. “So, what else happened?”

“To be honest…? I’m not sure…” Beat sighed. “Eventually he just… stopped showing up altogether. We tried calling him, but… he mighta shut his phone off, or the battery was just empty… I really dunno…” The blonde held his head for a moment, before he said; “For a while… we weren’t even sure he was still…”

“Alive?” the smaller male offered quietly.

Beat wasn’t able to speak, but he silently nodded to confirm it.

Sanae sighed. “You tried talking to his Mom, by any chance?”

“The girls tried… but she was either not there, or too busy to talk…”

“Seriously? You’d think she’d be more concerned…” Joshua frowned.

“…did SHE say that… or did HE?”

Upon that question, the three men froze in alarm, before whipping around toward the door leading to the back.

“Neku?” Joshua uttered, becoming worried for the redhead.

Neku didn’t respond to the Composer, instead looking to Beat silently.

“Ph-Phones…!”

“…so? …who said it?” Neku repeated.

“Uh… well… um…” Beat rubbed at his head, frowning in thought. “I think… uuuh… Eri said it was–…!! Ah!!”

“…HE did… huh?”

“Neku…” the silverette murmured, and got up from his seat in the booth.

“…she probably… didn’t even know…” Neku mumbled softly, lowering his gaze to the ground. “…she… probably didn’t even realize…”

“Neku…” Joshua repeated, approaching his former Proxy.

“…she… she likely didn’t… even realize that… that…” The redhead’s words choked then, and he immediately covered his mouth to smother the noise. “…she… she didn’t…”

“I’m so sorry, Neku…” the Composer whispered, reaching out to Neku.

Neku looked like he was trying to speak, but all that came out from behind his hand was a choked sob. Joshua was quick to pull Neku into a comforting hug when he heard the noise, holding him close as he rubbed circles along the redhead’s back. His breath hitched briefly, before Neku reached out to return the hug, sobbing quietly.

Beat looked like he was about to get up to help, but in the end, he decided better on it and just waited for the moment.

“I’m here, Neku,” Joshua whispered.

Neku choked and sobbed, hiccupping on occasion as he tried to get himself back under control. Recognizing the kid’s mood, Sanae sighed softly as he moved to behind the counter, starting to work on some hot cocoa for the redhead, since that seemed to generally work when he wasn’t feeling well.

Joshua gently guided Neku to the booth, where he helped the redhead to settle down. He still kept his arms around his former Partner, comforting him as best as he could.

After a good five minutes, Neku was finally able to calm his sobs down, though his breathing was still somewhat uneven.

“Here, kid,” Sanae said as he set the cup of hot chocolate on the table.

“…th… thanks…” Neku was able to choke out as he reached for the mug quietly.

The silverette smiled softly at Neku, letting him go from the hug, but keeping one hand on his shoulder just in case. For a moment more, Neku merely sat and breathed slowly, before he took a sip of his cup, swallowing heavily. Once he had managed to calm his breath, he lifted his gaze to face Beat.

The blonde was silent for a moment, before he quipped: “Hey uh… Phones? Can I be honest?”

“…sure…”

“Kay, uh… you look like shit.”

Joshua’s eyes widened at the brutally honest statement.

Neku, however, snorted and brought up his mug to hide the small smirk playing on his face. “Gee… thanks.”

“Hey! I did ask first, yo!”

The Composer shook his head, an amused smile on his face.

“…hey, seriously, though… are you… okay?” Beat asked finally, a bit unsure.

“…well… I’ve… been better… I guess…” Neku said with a small half-shrug.

Joshua smiled softly at Neku, glad to know he’d at least improved since he was first found.

“Right… …OH!” As if remembering something, Beat began digging around in his pocket, grumbling something incoherently under his breath, before he let out a victorious exclamation and produced three items from his pocket. “Here. These are from Eri.”

“…?” Neku blinked, before he took the items from Beat. “…lollipops?”

“Yeah. She said they helped her when… yanno… so she figured… maybe… well…”

“Hey, give it a shot, Neku. It won’t hurt,” Joshua told him.

“…I guess…” Neku murmured. “…thanks, man.”

“Hey, no prob, dude.”

Joshua smiled at the pleasant exchange between the two. He was glad Neku wasn’t mad at Beat, at least.

“So um… hey, Phones?” Beat began after a moment. “Um… ya don’t have to answer if you don’t wanna, but uh… you were talking ‘bout a ‘he’… did… did you mean… yanno…?”

“Your stepdad?” the Composer guessed quietly, hoping not to upset Neku.

“…” Neku didn’t respond immediately, focusing instead on his drink. However, after a moment, he slowly nodded.

“Ugh… no ‘fence, Phones, but what’d your Mum see in ‘im, anyway? If anything…”

Neku shrugged with a small shake of his head. “I dunno… good looks, I guess… I really dunno… honestly… Seph’s got very little else redeeming to him…”

“Still, he sounds like a major asshole, at the least,” Joshua grumbled.

Neku didn’t reply to that, taking a long swig of his drink silently. Sanae watched the redhead for a moment, taking note of his tense shoulders and the subtle tick in his fingers. “Hey, Phones, I gotta ask, for all of us here… was this… ‘Seph’… the reason you…?”

Neku’s grip on his mug tensed sharply, and he bit his lip sharply in response to the question, refusing to look up at any of the others.

As soon as Joshua noticed this, he placed a comforting hand on Neku’s back. “You’re not anywhere near him anymore, Neku, okay?” he reminded the redhead.

“…I know…” Neku almost whimpered out, taking a swift drink of the hot chocolate to try and ease his nerves.

“You’re safe here,” the Composer assured Neku, wrapping his arms around him soothingly.

Neku took a deep, shuddering breath, before he nodded softly. “I’m… I’m okay… I’m okay, really…”

“All right,” Joshua nodded, but kept one hand on his shoulder regardless.

Beat bit his lip sharply. He obviously had his own 10 yen to add to the conversation, but he was wise enough to keep it to himself for now. After a moment of just sitting there, silently fuming, he finally said: “So… what happened to the guy, anyway?”

“…” Neku shook his head slowly, saying silently that he didn’t know.

“Well, he’s out of your life, which is what matters,” the silverette pointed out, nodding in satisfaction

“Yeah. And if he ever gets anywhere near you again…” Beat snarled, punching one hand to his palm silently.

“Agreed,” Joshua growled, narrowing his eyes dangerously.

Neku regarded the two for a moment, before a small smile played on his face and he brought up the mug to finish his drink. “…thank you…”

“Hey, what’re friends for, eh?”

“Exactly, we’re here for you, Neku, don’t ever forget that,” Joshua smiled.

Neku’s only response to those words was a thankful smile.

 

Once Neku had reconnected with Beat, it didn’t take long for him to reconnect with Shiki, Rhyme and Eri as well. The initial reunion had been a bit rocky, mostly due to Neku’s insecurities about where he stood with them, but after Shiki had come out and told him he’d already been forgiven long ago, he managed to loosen up. And together with Joshua and Sanae, they began helping him to get over his drug addiction. The lollipop idea Eri had suggested helped somewhat, but there were still moments where it was almost too much for Neku to bear. However, with each of his friends helping him out, the redhead managed to pull through.

Though, perhaps the hardest thing he’s had to do during that time, however, was reporting what happened to the police. It’d been Sanae’s idea, and while everyone had jumped on the idea, Neku had been less so. It had less to do with admitting that he’d been addicted to coke, and more with confronting his stepdad once again. And on top of that, he was forced to break up his mother’s marriage, after she’d already suffered through one divorce.

Thankfully, the latter turned out to be less of a problem. Once his mother found out what happened, she took her son’s side immediately and, if Joshua and Sanae hadn’t stopped her, she might’ve actually clawed her (by now EX) husband’s throat open in rage. After he’d been taken into custody, she arranged the divorce the moment the option was available.

The only thing she was unable to do, however, was take Neku back in her care, because she believed herself to not be good enough for her son. So she entrusted her son’s care to his friends, who accepted on the condition that she would stay in touch with Neku on occasion.

And finally…

 

“Aaaaand the results saaaay…” Eri called out within WildKat as she theatrically pulled out the doctor’s report from the envelope. And despite how well they’d been doing over the past few months, it still caused a number of people to hold their breath, including Neku, who squeezed his fists tightly, almost nervously. Which faded immediately as Eri exclaimed excitedly while throwing up her arms; “CLEAN!!”

And that resulted in several cries of victory from the group, and a sigh of relief from Neku.

“Great job, Neku,” Joshua praised his former Partner kindly.

Neku allowed a small smile, nodding to the Composer, before Shiki came over to him.

“Congratulations, Neku!” she chirped, before she swiftly hugged him. “I’m so happy for you!”

“Ah…” Neku almost tensed, before he relaxed and returned the hug. “Thanks, Shiki.”

Shiki giggled as she moved back, at which point Eri decided to pipe up. “Right, now that that’s out of the way; LET’S PARTY!!”

Joshua chuckled at the declaration, and then enjoyed himself for the entire duration of the party, remaining close to Neku when he could. He was beyond relieved that Neku was no longer addicted, and was clean from the drugs. But in the back of his mind, he wondered how the redhead would proceed through life. Would he leave? Or would he stay? Selfishly, Joshua wanted Neku to stay with him, but he knew it probably wasn’t feasible, no matter how much he wished for it.

As if feeling Joshua’s eyes on him, Neku looked up from watching Beat and Eri have an arm-wrestling match, looking to Joshua curiously.

The Composer shook his head dismissively, mouthing to the redhead, ‘Later.’

Neku frowned slightly, suspicious, until Rhyme pulled on his sleeve and pulled him in a quiet conversation.

“You alright, J?” Sanae asked softly as he moved back to the counter.

“Just wondering what he’ll do now,” the silverette sighed almost silently.

“Hmm… worried?” the barista asked casually.

“More like I’ll miss him if he leaves.”

“Hmhmm…” That was all Sanae had to say before he went to collect some drinks for the others.

As Joshua looked back, it was in time to see Neku slamming Beat’s arm against the table, which made said blonde yowl in pain, while the others cheered for the redhead as he laughed and stood up again.

An amused grin made its way onto Joshua’s face at Neku’s happiness. He would truly miss his former Partner if he left.

 

As the night fell, the group gradually dispersed. Rhyme and Beat were the last to leave, and once they had gone, Neku exhaled heavily and plopped down on a chair.

“Tired, dear?” Joshua teased lightly.

“Don’t call me ‘dear’!” Neku snarled, as he reached into his pocket, grumbling a bit, before he produced a lollipop he’d been saving.

The one downside of him getting clean was him getting a new addiction to the sweets that were supposed to help him get rid of the previous one. But since it was hardly as dangerous to his health, no one really bothered with that one.

Joshua chuckled softly, seating himself beside Neku. “Happy?”

“…” Neku looked over after popping the sweet into his mouth, before he shrugged slightly. “…guess so.”

“I’m glad,” the silverette murmured.

Upon that, Neku actually looked over completely. “…you alright?”

“Just curious as to what you’re going to do now,” the Composer replied.

“…oh.”

“Do you know what you’ll do with your life now?” Joshua asked quietly, looking down.

Neku didn’t answer immediately. He merely sat there for a moment, sucking on the lollipop in his mouth and turning it around between his fingers. After a moment of thought, he silently shrugged his shoulders.

“…Will you at least stay in Shibuya?”

“…Where else would I go?”

“Fair enough,” the silverette murmured. “I just don’t want you to leave…”

“…?” At that, Neku turned back to Joshua again.

“I would miss you too much, Neku,” the Composer finally admitted in a soft voice.

Neku didn’t reply immediately, before he removed the lollipop from his mouth. “…so… what do you want me to do?”

“Whatever makes you happiest, Neku,” the silverette told him.

“…uh-huh…” Neku hummed, as he placed the pop between his teeth,

“Just… if you choose to live somewhere other than here…keep in touch, please,” Joshua said softly in an almost pleading manner.

“……”

“…Neku?”

Neku didn’t say anything for a moment, before he pulled the lollipop from his mouth with an audible ‘pop’ – and abruptly popped it in Joshua’s.

The Composer jumped, startled by the sudden action. “Neku?” he got out around the sweet.

However, rather than say anything, Neku grabbed Joshua’s arm and yanked him in and began kissing him around the stick of the lollipop almost easily. Joshua was clearly shocked by the abruptness of the kiss, but he soon relaxed and kissed back, even with the lollipop stick in the way.

Once Joshua had fully relaxed into the kiss, Neku shifted and climbed onto the Composer’s lap as he pried open his lips with his tongue. Joshua readily allowed him entry, his tongue sliding along Neku’s and mingling the taste of the lollipop with each other.

Neku moaned softly, curling his hands around the Composer’s neck, with one of them curling in his silver hair, as he briefly adjusted his position, before rolling his hips against Joshua’s. This made Joshua moan into the kiss, bucking his hips up against the redhead’s in response.

A soft chuckle rumbled from Neku’s throat, as he used his tongue to pull the lollipop back in his own mouth, before he pulled back. “Ne…” he purred, “how ‘bout we move this somewhere more… private, hm?’

The Composer could only nod weakly in response. The less than vocal reply had Neku smirking as he climbed up to his feet, grabbing Joshua’s hands and pulling him up to his feet. “Well… move your ass, then.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Joshua smirked as he went on ahead of Neku, sashaying his hips a bit.

Neku merely chuckled, shaking his head as he followed after him. The silverette laughed lightly at Neku’s reaction and headed to his bedroom, where he waited for the redhead to join him.

As he stepped into the room, Neku silently shut the door behind him, locking it after a moment of thought. Once done with that, he reached up and removed the finished pop from his mouth, flicking it into the trash silently.

Joshua seated himself on the bed, and curled his index finger in a ‘come hither’ gesture to Neku.

Neku smirked at the motion, but he said nothing else as he walked over, almost easily ditching his shoes as he went, before he climbed on the bed and onto Joshua’s lap again, placing his hands on the Composer’s shoulders.

“You have no idea how badly I want you, Neku,” the silverette whispered, leaning forward and kissing his Proxy.

“Mmm… oh, I can guess,” Neku purred into the kiss, as he rolled his hips down again, pushing his ass against Joshua’s obvious need.

The Composer groaned at the friction against his clothed erection, and bucked his hips again against Neku’s ass. The redhead chuckled as he pushed against Joshua’s shoulders, making him fall back against the bed, after which he locked their lips together once again, making Joshua give a soft moan into the kiss, rolling his hips up against Neku’s.

Neku groaned softly, before smirking and rolling his hips in turn, as he moved his hands across Joshua’s arms, guiding them up to rest them along his back. As Joshua continued to kiss Neku, soon he became eager for more. He slid his hands down to Neku’s ass, squeezing it firmly.

The touch made Neku moan wantonly, arching into the touch, as his hands curled into Joshua’s shirt. He moved back then and began to work on undoing the buttons of the Composer’s shirt. And Joshua merely laid back and let him, an almost predatory gleam in his violet eyes as he watched Neku.

As Neku finished undoing the buttons, he smirked down him, and then moved in to kiss him again. As he did, though, he purred: “Are you gonna keep laying there or are you actually gonna do something?”

The Composer chuckled low in his throat, right before bucking his hips up again, and grabbing Neku’s ass again. This had the Proxy gasping in surprise, before he moaned and rolled his hips down, helping the Composer in setting a pleasurable rhythm for both of them. Moaning deeply from his throat, Joshua reached to the hem of Neku’s shirt, and soon began to pull the material up, beginning to expose his stomach and chest.

As the piece of cloth reached his armpits, Neku moved back momentarily to swiftly dispose of the article, dropping it on the floor. Smirking cheekily, Neku took hold of Joshua’s hands and placed them on his sides, all while still rolling his hips down against his bed partner. The silverette moaned at the friction, stroking his hands along Neku’s bare sides as he rolled his hips up in time with Neku.

Neku moaned at the touch to his skin, before he took Joshua’s left hand and brought it up. Before Joshua could ask about it, the Proxy began to lap at the Composer’s fingers, very similar to how he was often seen licking a cherry pop.

This drew a shudder from the Composer, and he watched his former Partner with lustful eyes. “I love you, Neku,” he breathed.

Neku moaned softly at those words, before he murmured: “Then do something about it, baka…” right before he took the silverette’s fingers in his mouth entirely.

Joshua smirked wickedly, and then tugged harshly at Neku’s pants with his free hand. “Take ‘em off, Neku~” he purred.

The sudden motion made Neku groan in surprise/pleasure, before he smirked cheekily around Joshua’s fingers. Slowly, he removed Joshua’s fingers from his mouth, which were dripping with saliva, making it a point to run his stud along the digits before he moved back and stepped off the bed. After taking another step back, he reached for his pants and began to almost lazily work on the belt.

Joshua gave a predatory grin as he leaned up slightly, and began to unbutton his jeans before pushing them down and kicking them off completely, his shoes and socks coming off in the process. In response to that, the redhead’s smirk widened into a half-grin as he undid his own. However, he waited for a moment more, just standing there, before letting the item drop to the floor.

Joshua’s eyes widened in pleasant surprise when he realized that that was all the redhead had been wearing, before a pleased noise escaped him. “So naughty, Neku~” he purred. He was quick to remove his underwear, and then leaned forward, pulling Neku close by his hips.

“Am I, now?” Neku chuckled out, moving in and locking their mouths together again, as he rolled his hips forward.

“Seems to me you were planning this,” Joshua whispered, trailing his lips from the redhead’s mouth down along his jawline and throat, pausing at his collarbone with a breathy moan.

“Oh really?” Neku murmured, letting his hands play along Joshua’s shoulders. “And where’s your proof of that?”

“No underwear, unless you always go around like that,” the Composer murmured, right before latching onto the pale skin of Neku’s collarbone and sucking harshly, leaving a very evident hickey.

Neku gasped sharply at the suction, before he moaned pleasantly and arched into the Composer’s touch. “Hmm… and what are you going to do if I did plan this?” he purred, clawing at Joshua’s back with his short nails.

“I’m going to fuck you senseless, until you scream my name so much that you’re unable to anymore because you’re so hoarse,” Joshua whispered into Neku ear when he let go, nipping at the lobe teasingly.

A subtle shudder ran along Neku’s frame, before a small chuckle rumbled from his throat. “In that case… you’re gonna be busy all night,” he purred out, nipping at Joshua’s own ear in turn.

“Fine by me,” Joshua chuckled lowly, reaching his hand down to a spot under the mattress between it and the box spring. When he found what he was searching for, he gave his former Proxy a devilish look as he pulled it out, showing him the hidden bottle of lube.

At the sight of that, Neku actually chortled. “And here you are accusing ME of planning this…”

“Actually, this has BEEN here, since before I found you,” Joshua smirked. “I may be the Composer, but even I have my moments.”

Neku merely chuckled, before he moved in to kiss the Composer again.

Joshua smirked into the kiss, leaning back completely so Neku was lying on top of him as they continued. He then silently and blindly opened the bottle and squirted some onto his fingers before closing it and tossing it to the side. That’s when Joshua traced his hand along his former Partner’s perfect ass, right before gently slipping a finger inside of him. This made the redhead hiss into the kiss, before he purred and rolled his hips down against the Composer.

The silverette kept his control this time, however, moaning softly into Neku’s mouth as he thrust the first digit in and out a few times. Not sensing any discomfort from the redhead, however, Joshua added a second finger. Despite the extra finger, Neku merely purred in reply, as he let his own fingers play along Joshua’s sides.

Joshua shivered lightly at the touch, and then slid in the third finger, scissoring his lover widely. He grasped at Neku’s ass cheeks with his free hand, loving the feel of them. This made the former Proxy mewl softly into the touch, as he let his fingers slip along to Joshua’s backside. He didn’t give Joshua the chance to react before he curled his hands around the silverette’s asscheeks.

Joshua moaned in response, and then curled the three fingers in Neku’s ass, seeking out his prostate. It took only a moment for him to find it, and Neku, in response, broke the kiss and let out a pleasured cry.

“Feel good?” the Composer teased lightly, smirking up at the redhead.

“Mmm… what do you think?” Neku chuckled/moaned out, as he began to nip and suckle on the Composer’s throat.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Joshua groaned, and then withdrew his fingers from his former Partner’s ass. Smearing the remainder of the lube on his fingers over his aching cock, he swiftly flipped them so Neku was lying beneath him. “Ready?”

Neku merely smirked as he wrapped his arms around Joshua’s shoulders, pulling him in slightly as he spread his legs wide. “Do it…”

Joshua complied, giving a smooth roll of his hips with a whisper of: “I love you, Neku.”

A soft gasp was the only sound Neku made as Joshua effortlessly slipped in, as he shut his eyes, breathing heavily.

“You okay?” the silverette asked breathlessly, trying not to move too soon, but it was difficult with how tight and hot Neku was.

“…m fine…” Neku breathed out, just before he snapped his legs up and hooked them around Joshua’s waist, pulling him in.

Joshua groaned loudly at the suddenness of the action, but he adjusted soon and began to thrust slowly and gently, for the sake of his lover.

“…I’m… not made of glass, Josh…” Neku groaned out, moving in and kissing the Composer as he snapped his hips up. “Faster.”

“Not saying you are,” the silverette breathed against Neku’s lips. He withdrew almost completely, and then thrust back in, HARD. The sudden motion had Neku breaking away from the kiss with a half-choked cry of pleasure, his nails digging into Joshua’s shoulders. Despite the slight pain from the nails piercing through the skin, Joshua set a swift, powerful rhythm, thrusting in deep to strike Neku’s prostate again and again.

“Y…you’re so…tight, Neku,” he growled possessively.

The redhead wasn’t able to say anything; he was grasping at Joshua’s shoulders, moans, and half-strangled cries the only things escaping his mouth. The Composer reached down, gripping Neku’s member and pumping it in time with his thrusts.

Neku cried out in pleasure at the touch, his legs tightening around Joshua’s waist. “A-ahhh! F… fuck…! A-ah!!”

“Come on…Neku… Let go…” Joshua panted, smirking slightly, giving an even harder thrust to emphasize his point.

“Ah…!! I-I…! J-Jo…Josh–!!” Neku choked out, before he gave a scream as his release hit him,

Joshua bit down firmly on Neku’s collarbone as Neku came, groaning loudly against the pale skin as he managed two more thrusts before he released deep inside of his lover. Neku choked briefly at the sensation, shuddering, before he let his legs fall back to the bed, breathing heavily.

The Composer gave a weak chuckle as he pulled out of the redhead, rolling over and pulling Neku close to his chest. The redhead groaned slightly at the motion, before he looked up silently.

“Are you okay?” Joshua asked softly, kissing Neku’s forehead.

“…I’m fine,” Neku murmured, moving a little up and kissing Joshua firmly.

“Good,” the silverette smiled, holding his lover close to himself.

Neku hummed softly, before he smirked, and then moved in to bite on Joshua’s earlobe, flicking his tongue piercing out at it.

Joshua shivered at the mixture of cold and warm on his ear and then nipped at Neku’s shoulder. “Behave, you little minx,” he chuckled.

“Why?” Neku purred out, lapping at the other man’s ear, making it a point to move his stud along the outer shell. “Didn’t _you_ say you were gonna make me go hoarse, hm?”

“Valid point,” the Composer smirked, and reached down to stroke at Neku’s manhood.

Neku purred softly as he bit down on Joshua’s lobe with his incisors, moving his own hand down and reaching for Joshua’s in turn.

“I love you,” Joshua whispered in Neku’s ear, his free hand going around the redhead’s hip, sliding down his ass crack, and then pressing into his still-sensitive entrance.

Neku hissed at the touch, the muscle twitching under the touch, before he smirked sharply and abruptly flipped Joshua on his back. “Oooh no, you don’t, buster…”

“Hmm… What do you have in mind, my little vixen?” Joshua purred.

“Wouldn’t you like to know…” Neku chuckled, as he moved in and locked their mouths together firmly, letting his hands trail down Joshua’s sides.

The silverette shuddered lightly at the caress, kissing Neku back tenderly. Neku purred into the kiss, letting his tongue play along the Composer’s, before he pulled back and began kissing and nibbling at his collarbone. This had Joshua moaning softly into Neku’s mouth, while idly wondering what his ‘little vixen’ was planning.

“Mmm… ne…” Neku murmured suddenly against the man’s skin.

“Hmm?” the Composer hummed curiously.

As he pulled away, Neku purred: “Why do you think… I got this?” while sticking out his tongue to link his stud around his teeth.

“How about you show me instead of telling me?” Joshua smirked, sticking his tongue out to give the stud a quick lick.

Neku chuckled softly. “Don’t mind if I do~” he purred, as he moved back slightly.

The Composer watched his lover with eager eyes, the violet irises darkened with his lust for Neku. Said redhead licked his lips cheekily, before he took a small breath and then ducked his head down, swallowing the Composer’s cock in one smooth motion.

Joshua cried out, falling back against the bed with a loud moan. He clenched his teeth together tightly, a hiss escaping through them as his hands moved to Neku’s hair and he buried his fingers in the reddish-orange locks. The firm hold on his hair made Neku purr around Joshua’s cock, as he let his tongue play along the hardened flesh, before he pushed the stud along the head as he began to bob his head in a steady rhythm.

The Composer shuddered heavily, giving loud, strangled cries and moans as Neku sucked him off. That damned stud felt SO good, though…

Purring from the back of his throat, Neku moved up to roll his tongue around the head, before pushing the stud along the slit, his purr making his tongue tremble along the flesh in his mouth. This made Joshua scream, tightening his grip on Neku’s hair as he suddenly came into the redhead’s mouth, unable to stop himself.

Neku groaned as the Composer’s seed filled his mouth, a soft purr still rumbling from his throat. He held still for a moment more, a small stream flowing from the corner of his mouth, before he swallowed heavily, and sat back. Once he sat up properly, Joshua slowly propped himself up on his elbows, and then swiped his thumb along the streak from Neku’s mouth before smirking slightly as he lapped his own cum off his thumb. And Neku smirked right back, before he moved in and locked their mouths together again, purring softly.

Joshua kissed him lovingly, groaning quietly into Neku’s mouth at the taste of his own cum. “You are a sneaky vixen,” he chuckled after a bit when he pulled away.

“Look who’s talking…” Neku chuckled with a cheeky smirk, as he reached out for Joshua’s cock with one hand.

“You’re the one who’s got the stud,” the silverette pointed out with a grin.

“Well maybe you should consider getting one of your own, then,” Neku teased, as he stroked Joshua’s flesh again.

Joshua shivered at the touch. “I’ll stick with other ways of pleasuring you~” he whispered teasingly. Suddenly, he flipped them so Neku was lying beneath him again. The Composer then began to kiss and nip down Neku’s chest and stomach, tracing the redhead’s pelvis with his tongue. He passed his lover’s groin completely, going further down.

Neku whined slightly, one hand gripping the pillow as he buried the other in Joshua’s hair. However, he smirked cheekily as he quipped: “Oh really? And how do you… plan to do that?”

“I’ll show you,” Joshua breathed against his inner thigh, and then gently pushed Neku’s legs up, bending them at the knees before thrusting his tongue into the redhead’s sensitive entrance.

Neku gasped in surprise, before he actually gave a choked cry, his hand curling in Joshua’s hair firmly. “A-aaaahh!! F-fuck…!”

Joshua chuckled low in his throat at the slight pull at his hair, licking Neku’s entrance for a little bit before sucking at his cum that leaked out.

Neku gasped and shuddered, his legs twitching in Joshua’s grasp and his toes curling. “J…Jos…shu…aaaaaahhh!!”

The silverette smirked against Neku’s ass, and swirled his tongue inside his lover’s entrance a few times, feeling how Neku was close to release again. He was already tightening around Joshua’s tongue, which pleased the Composer. Neku whimpered pathetically as he tried to hold back for a little longer, before he let out a scream as his release hit him harshly.

Joshua pulled away when Neku came, a devilish grin on his face as he licked up Neku’s cum from his stomach.

As Neku’s breath evened out a bit, he turned to regard Joshua. “…that works…” he murmured with a small smirk.

“Figured as much,” the Composer quipped with a pleased grin as he laid back down with Neku and held him close again.

Neku hummed softly before pulling Joshua’s face back in and kissing him deeply. And the silverette kissed his ‘vixen’ back eagerly, making it a slow and tender one to show how much he loved the shorter male. Neku moaned softly into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Joshua’s shoulders again.

Joshua soon broke away from the kiss, and positioned his lips at the junction where Neku’s shoulder and neck met. “You’re mine, and you always will be,” he breathed against the pale skin, right before biting hard enough to break skin with a possessive growl.

Neku gasped sharply at the bite, before he whined as he gripped at Joshua’s shoulders.

The Composer lapped up the blood, making sure it stopped bleeding completely before kissing Neku’s nose teasingly. “Now you’re all mine,” he growled with a wicked smirk.

The redhead hummed softly, a small smirk on his own face, before he flipped them over until he was on top of Joshua. “Good…” he purred, as he rolled his hips against Joshua’s.

“You’re insatiable, but I certainly don’t mind pleasing my little vixen,” Joshua chuckled, rolling his own hips in rhythm with his lover’s.

“Told you, didn’t I?” Neku purred as he sat up, rolling his hips one more time. “You wanna make ME hoarse? You’ll have to work a little harder for it…”

As he said that, he sat up on his knees.

Joshua smirked, his darkened eyes gleaming with a predatory look as he watched his vixen move.

The smirk that Neku gave him then was almost as predatory as Joshua’s, as he briefly stroked Joshua’s cock, before he effortlessly slipped the Composer’s flesh inside of him, moaning softly at the feeling. “A-ah… fuuuck…!”

“H-holy shit, Neku!” Joshua gasped, giving an involuntary buck of his hips at the familiar tightness and heat.

Neku took a short moment to collect his breath, before he reached out and interlinked his hands with Joshua’s, a small smirk on his lips. “You ready for this, Yo~shi~ya?”

Joshua chuckled lowly in response. “I’m more than ready for you, my vixen~”

The redhead’s smirk widened slightly, before he raised himself on his knees, and then began moving on top of the Composer, a soft groan rumbling from his throat. The silverette groaned lowly, moving his hands to grip Neku’s hips tightly to try and keep himself somewhat grounded.

Chuckling, Neku leaned forward to rest his weight on his arms, breathed in, and then upped the speed even further. As he leaned a little lower, he purred: “You gonna make me do everything, Yoshiya?”

At the challenging note to his lover’s voice, Joshua gave Neku a playful glare before swiftly bucking his hips up and striking the redhead’s prostate hard.

“Ah f-f-FUCK!” the redhead gasped out in pleasure, before he smirked and met the Composer’s every motion, locking his mouth with the silverette’s.

Joshua moaned into Neku’s mouth from the tightness and heat surrounding his cock, digging his nails lightly into his lover’s hips and thrusting up into Neku even faster.

“Mmh…! A-ah… hah…!” Neku had to break away from the kiss then, breath hitching as he moaned ceaselessly. “J-Josh…! A-ah…!”

The Composer reached for Neku’s cock, and began to pump him in time with his thrusts. At the touch to his own need, Neku gave a strangled cry and his body shuddered almost violently. Just then, though, Joshua gave a particularly hard, deep thrust, a growl escaping him as he did.

And as he snapped his hips up, Neku gave a scream of pleasure. “F-FUCK!! J-Jo…!! Aaahh!! Y… Yoshiya…! Yos–a-AAAAH!”

“N-Neku…!!” Joshua cried out, releasing deep inside of his lover with one last, powerful thrust.

Neku choked as the Composer’s cum filled him, before he gave a weak whimper and fell down on top of Joshua.

Joshua supported him, holding the redhead close. “…Did that do the trick?” he eventually asked with a small smirk.

“…shuddap…” Neku mumbled tiredly.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” the silverette chuckled softly, and carefully rolled them over so they were lying on their sides. He tugged the blanket over them, and held his lover as close as he could. “I love you so much, Neku,” Joshua whispered in Neku’s ear, kissing his temple.

“…mmm…” Neku wrapped his arms around the Composer sleepily. “…love you, too…”

“Sleep, Neku. You deserve it,” Joshua urged quietly, wrapping his own arms around Neku tiredly.

Neku merely hummed once, as his breathing finally evened out.

However, before Joshua could follow him into the realm of sleep, a subtle, blue glow suddenly fell over Joshua’s face. As he looked to the nightstand, he quickly spotted a piece of crumpled paper, upon which rested a deep blue feather. Joshua recognized the color; it was the color of a Guardian Angel’s feathers.

Silently, the Composer reached out and picked up the paper, carefully smoothing it out to read it without waking Neku.

Even after smoothing it out, it was difficult to read; many words were crossed out, sometimes extremely violently, it seemed, and the tear and wear wasn’t making it any easier, either. And the little that was eligible was barely that, with the pen strokes either too rough or not strong enough.

Only a few lines could be made out;

 

“ _joshua_

_i dont hate you_

_if im worth it_

_please_

_save me_ ”

 

Joshua nearly teared up when he realized what the paper really was, and, placing the paper off to the side, he hugged Neku firmly before thinking, ‘Thank you, Gabriel.’


End file.
